


The Edge of Glory

by darkwriterff



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Sex, Angst and Humor, Famous Harry, Famous Niall, Fluff and Angst, Frottage, Insecure Liam, M/M, Military Backstory, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Zayn, Sassy Louis, Therapy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-12
Updated: 2015-01-08
Packaged: 2018-02-17 03:12:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 35,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2294666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkwriterff/pseuds/darkwriterff
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Liam has come home from a 6 month tour, where he's seen action in the war.  He's on his 6 weeks of R&R when PTSD rears it's ugly head.  This is a fun story with a good bit of angst mixed in.  The boys make each other laugh and cry.  They're all there for each other when the time comes and they're loving life.  But, with anyone who's seen action, there's always draw backs "fitting" back into society and this story deals with that.  This is not my first fan fiction, but it is my first 1D/Ziam based fic.  All comments will be loved!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Coming Home

**Author's Note:**

> You can follow me on tumblr if you'd like..... the-larry-gleek. It's a 1D/Glee blog (mostly 1D) and I have a lot of fun. Come join me and we'll chat!

Zayn steps out of the black SUV along the airport curbside and for a moment is taken aback by a fury of cameras and microphones swarming his way.

 ** _"Zayn! Zayn, how's it feel to see Liam again?"_** *click, flash* **_"Zayn! Are you and Liam dating?"_** *click, flash* **_"Zayn! Over here, can I get a quick word from you?"_** *click, flash*

So it goes. Liam left about 6 months ago for his first tour. After what seems like decades, he has finally come home for his 6 weeks of R&R and all Zayn wants to do is grab him in both of his arms and kiss him; but he knows that he can't. Not with all of the paparazzi around.

He pushes his way into the airport and stops to read the big flat screen monitors that are sending him to "Gate A." He looks down at his watch and his eyes widen as he realizes that Liam's flight had arrived 5 minutes ago and begins to run towards the opposite side of the airport; hoping he hasn't missed him getting off of the airplane.

When he reaches the terminal, Zayn quickly searches around for the correct gate. He spins around and instantly his breath is caught somewhere between his chest and throat that almost feels like he’s suffocating from lack of oxygen. Liam is walking through the doors, his duffle bag in one hand and Dress Blue's hat in the other.

It’s in that moment that Zayn feels frozen. It’s not that he had forgotten what Liam looked like, it’s just that not seeing him for half of a year he had forgotten just how attractive he was. His eyes do a quick scan over Liam and all Zayn can see are his beautiful dark brown eyes, tan skin and massively huge arms. There were moments in the beginning where Zayn worried about Liam joining the military. But with arms like Liam’s, Zayn quickly came to realize that Liam was more than capable of handling his own.

 ** _"Liam?"_** Zayn whispers. His arms rise slowly from his side, still not trusting his eyes. He takes one small step forward, arms outstretched awaiting the other boy's body to enter into them.

 ** _"Zayn!"_** Liam yells, dropping his bag, running straight into the arms of his waiting boyfriend. Liam jumps on the shorter boy, wrapping his legs around his waist and smiles. His arms tighten the grip around Zayn's neck as he nuzzles his nose onto the darker boy's cheek.

 ** _"I've missed you so much.”_** Zayn says as he wraps his arms tighter around him, spinning him around a few times. **_"You have no idea just how much."_** He whispers, pulling back and gazing into Liam's moist brown eyes. He sits Liam down on his feet and rests his forehead against the taller boy's.

 ** _"I can't wait to kiss you."_** Zayn whispers huskily, still too aware of the cameras that are still snapping pictures all around them.

 ** _"Zayn! Josh West from Entertainment City. How does it feel to see Liam again?"_** *Click, flash*

Zayn is quickly snapped back to reality and smiles as he turns towards the cameras.

 ** _"It feels better than you can imagine."_** He says and turns back to Liam, making eye contact with his beautiful chocolate brown eyes. *Click, flash.*

_**"I’ve missed him so much.........I wasn't sure if I was going to make it through some nights. But then I would receive a letter from him the next day, telling me he was ok and I knew that I would be too."** _

Zayn paused to give a small smile. **_"He's my rock and he makes me whole."_** Zayn lifts his hand and gently strokes the side of Liam's cheek. " ** _It was like he subconsciously knew that I needed to see his words and they would just appear on my doorstep the next day."_** *Click, flash*

Liam smiles and leans into the touch. **_"And when the days got too unbearable, I would see Zayn's face and remember his touch, and I knew that I too would be ok."_** Liam said, his eyes dropping down to Zayn's lips and then back up to his eyes.

Zayn gives the taller man a questioning look, chewing on his bottom lip between his teeth. Liam smiles and gives a small nod, both silently agreeing this was the right time.

Zayn slowly moved his hand from Liam's cheek and slid it around the back side of his neck. He then brought his other arm up meeting them together in a tight embrace. Liam's hands rest on Zayn's hips, like they were attracted there by magnets and for these two men, the world stopped. Zayn lifted his chin slightly to meet Liam's gaze.

 ** _"I can feel your warmth against my chest."_** Zayn whispers unbelievingly into the small space separating their lips. _“ **I have truly missed you babe. More than you could ever know.”**_

 ** _"There were so many nights when I wasn't sure if I would see you again. I love you, I missed you Zayn."_** Liam whispers quietly. His eyes drop again to Zayn's lips, where the rest. **_"Please, Zayn, I know it’s a big step for you, but please, please kiss me."_**

Zayn gives a small nod and presses his wet rosy lips to Liam's ready ones, and a shock of electricity flows between the two of them. He smiles into the kiss and sighs as his arms tightened their grip around Liam's neck, bringing their heads closer together and deepening the kiss. After a few seconds, Zayn feels Liam’s tongue pressing gently against his lips, asking permission to enter. His tongue rolled into Zayn's mouth as if this was something new, something that they had never done before. He lets out a slight moan that reverberated throughout Liam's body and feels the front of his jeans start to tighten.

They faintly hear the clicks of the cameras and the hustle of voices behind them trying to get an interview. But for these two boys, the only thing that mattered right now is them.

They kissed, for what felt like hours, but in reality it was only a few minutes until they broke away and smiled at each other. This was the first time they had ever done something like this in public and it felt exhilarating. This is it, the secret is out after all this time, and they both knew that there was no turning back now.

*Click, flash* **_"Zayn! James Bolt from Daily News, so is this official?"_**

Zayn didn't know whether to make a smart remark or roll his eyes at the stupid question. Then there is a slight tug on the left side of Zayn’s shirt, and he knows it isn’t Liam because he is standing to his right.

He turns around and sees a little boy in a green jacket holding a small American flag. His curious deep blue eyes looking up at Zayn and Liam. Zayn crouches down beside him and points to the flag in the boy’s left hand.

 ** _“Hi there,”_** Zayn says smiling at the little boy **_“Is this your flag? It’s really nice.”_**

The boy nods, **_“Yes sir. My daddy is coming home today.”_** He waves the flag at Liam, noticing the uniform he is wearing and turns to look back at Zayn. **_“Is this your boyfriend?”_**

Zayn’s eyes widen and he spins around to face Liam, who’s is already tinted with blush. He hears the background of the cameras still flashing, but none of the interviewers are speaking.

Zayn turns back to the little boy, very much aware that he too is now blushing. He clears his throat and smiles **_“Yes. Yes he is.”_ ** *Click, flash*

The little boy gives a small smile to them both before walking over to Liam with open arms. Liam kneels down and does the same, embracing the young child for a hug. **_“Welcome home,”_** the little boy whispers before letting go and walking back to his mother on the opposite side of the terminal.

Zayn and Liam both look at each other with tears welling up in their eyes. Neither are sure what just happened, but a crowd of more interviewers find themselves around the two boys and they figure it’s time to leave.

He grabs Liam's hand, laces their fingers together and leads them out of the airport into the black SUV heading south, back home.

Neither boy spoke during the ride, they both just sat and basked in the feel of the other. Zayn was content, knowing he was with Liam. And Liam was content just being in Zayn's arms. For a few weeks, they would live in blissful happiness. Then he would ship back out for another 6 month deployment. After a day like today, how was Zayn going to survive another 6 months with out this amazing man by his side?


	2. Reconnecting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I’m going to go ahead and rate this chapter M for sexual content. It’s not explicit, but it’s not implied either. Also want to note, no copyright infringement intended, I used a few songs and none of them belong to me. Just thought they were appropriate for the scene I’m setting. Enjoy!!

Liam lay on his left side with his head resting on Zayn’s chest; he was intently listening to the acoustic sounds of his lovers beating heart.  He has rested his head there so many times that he thinks he’s memorized the beating rhythm. He rubs small circles on Zayn’s chest, tracing his fingers through the thin happy trail underneath Zayn’s navel.

Looking up into the darker man’s eyes, he slides his hand up to rest on Zayn’s pecs and sighed in contentment.

**_“What is it, babe?”_**  Zayn asks as he lifts his left hand and begins to run his fingers through Liam’s bushy brown hair.  Liam leans his head back, relishing in the feel of Zayn’s fingers in his hair.

**_“I’m just so happy Zayn.  I have been waiting for this moment for so long, I don’t think I ever want this feeling to pass.”_ **  he pushes himself up the bed and places a feather light kiss to Zayn’s nose.

Zayn smiles and stretches his arm muscles slightly, paying close attention not to disturb Liam’s resting position.  Happiness danced in Zayn’s eyes as he continued rubbing his arms up and down Liam's.

**_“Zayn?  Will you sing something for me?”_ **  Liam asks.   ** _“I have missed hearing your voice.  Listening to you over skype isn’t the same as listening to you in person.”_**

**__ **

Zayn gives a happy smile and begins to sing one of his favorite songs.  It was, afterall, his second top 10 hit with the band and first number one as a co-writer.

_“You know I've always got your back, girl_

_So let me be the one you come running to, running to, r-r-running_

_I see it's just a matter of fact, girl_

_You just call my name_

_I'll be coming through, coming through, I'll keep coming”_

Zayn smiles, as he is singing the song he had memorized so many months ago.  Few people realize that he had co-wrote the song with Liam in mind.  Actually, very few people knew about Liam.  The other boys were the only ones who knew that Liam and Zayn were more than friends, and that’s because Zayn would trust the boys with his life.  He knew that they wouldn’t let it slip out that he was in a relationship, so he was confident when he finally introduced them to Liam.

_“On the other side of the world, it don't matter_

_I'll be there in two, I'll be there in two, I'll be there in two_

_I still feel it every time_

_It's just something that you do_

_Now ask me why I want to”_

Liam sighs and tightens his grip around Zayn’s midsection, letting himself be lulled fast to sleep. Zayn continues playing with Liam’s hair, not wanting to lose touch with him for a second. His hands open and close as he’s playing in Liam’s hair, slightly massaging each area.

  
  


_“It's everything about you, you, you_

_Everything that you do, do, do_

_From the way that we touch, baby_

_To the way that you kiss on me_

_It's everything about you, you, you_

_The way you make it feel, new, new, new_

_Like every party is just us two_

_And there's nothing I could point to_

_It's everything about you, you, you_

_Everything about you, you, you_

_It's everything that you do, do, do_

_It's everything about you”_

Zayn hears Liam’s breath begin to even and knows that he’s fast asleep.  He stops singing and wraps his arms tightly around the taller boy and press a light kiss the top of his head.

He makes sure to tuck Liam in; he’s content in the fact that he is holding Liam for the first time in as many months and he’s happy.

**_“Good night, babe,”_**   he whispers as he pulls the big fluffy blankets over them both and rests his head on the pillow.

**_\----_ **

 

The next morning, awaking with stiff muscles and a growling stomach, Zayn was the first to start the day. He blinks a few times so that the room comes into view. He starts to make his way to get out of bed but something heavy was lying on top of him, preventing him from getting up.  Looking down, he realizes that Liam is still sleeping, half of his body tucked into Zayn’s and the other half on the other side of the bed.  He runs a quick hand through Liam’s hair; still not believing that he was home and lying with him in bed.

He decided he wanted to do something special for boyfriend, so he decided to cook him a nice breakfast with some of Liam’s favorites. He made eggs, turkey bacon, pancakes, and fresh orange juice.  Laying his contents onto a serving tray, he strolled into the bedroom, while whistling _“What Makes you Beautiful.”_   Sitting the tray on the nightstand, he slowly crawled back into bed and placed a small kiss to Liam’s forehead.  

**_“Rise and shine, babe.”_** Zayn whispered.  When he sees Liam’s brown eyes flutter open, he feels his own breath catch in his throat.  Liam stretches and yawns loudly before sitting up and resting his back against the pillows.

**_“Breakfast in bed huh?”_**  he asks with a twitchy smile.

**_“When was the last time I was able to properly pamper you?”_ **

**_“Six months ago tomorrow."_**   Liam said somberly.

Zayn leans in and plants a light kiss to Liam’s lips. It was simple but he lets their lips linger if only for a moment and when he pulls back he’s smiling. **_“Then it’s long over due.”_**

They spent a lazy afternoon in bed; just the two of them wrapped up in each other’s arms.  They talked about their time apart. Liam tells him about the action he was exposed to, keeping in mind to leave out the minor details that might make Zayn unhappy.

Zayn made sure to tell Liam that he had an interview with the band on tomorrow, and he wanted to give a few details about their relationship. Nothing intimate, mind you, just that they were in fact together and how long they had been one.

**_“After all, they did see us kiss in the airport.”_   **Zayn had finally said when Liam was reluctant to have their relationship on display. His mouth turned up in a smirk when Liam finally relented.

**_****************_ **

They made love after that.  Zayn remembering every part of Liam’s body as if he had never left.  Liam worshiping Zayn’s body with a thirst that neither boy could relinquish.

When the boys first met, Zayn was an inpatient lover, citing “need” over “want.”  The longer they were together though it seemed that Zayn turned into the passionate man in bed, that he is in real life.  Liam would sit back and just admire him as a person, but when they were making love, Liam relished in the amount of love and attention he conveyed in each and every touch.

Groaning desperately, Liam slid his hand further down Zayn’s torso and rested it against his hip.  He nipped at the nape of Zayn’s neck causing him to hiss out in pleasure. **_“Li….”_**   Zayn called, begging with his eyes not to stop at his hip.  Liam gave a small, wicked smile and began kissing down to Zayn’s collarbone, going further down until he was swirling his tongue in small little circles around the tip of his sternum.

Sex is an emotional, primal instinct that is shared between two people who love each other; Liam swears that he could never love someone as much as he loves Zayn.  Zayn swears that they were made for each other.  Their mind, heart, soul, and body fit together in such a way, he was convinced they were born just to fit with the other.

Liam slid his hand further down Zayn’s hips and rested his fingers in the curls above his genitals.  Zayn threw his head back in pleasure and recited some incoherent sounds, which lured Liam to continue his touches.  Zayn slowly, lifted his head up to make eye contact as Liam entered one finger into Zayn.  Gently, and masterfully, Liam started to prepare Zayn for the age old dance of love.  After Liam entered the third and final finger, he lathered himself up and slowly and carefully entered Zayn.

Zayn, still keeping eye contact with Liam, inhaled sharply at the feeling and slowly let the breath out as his body was getting used to the intrusion. He loved watching Liam’s hazel eyes flutter the moment he entered inside of him.

Liam, being physically and emotionally in tune with Zayn, halted his movements until Zayn nodded his ok. **_“I love you.”_**   Zayn said as he threw his head back, feeling the intense pleasure of having Liam inside of him after being apart for so long.

**_“God, Zayn, I love you so much more than you could ever imagine.”_** Liam thrust deep into Zayn and pulled back at a slow, agonizing pace.

**_“I love you more than Romeo loved Juliet.”_**  Liam slammed hard into Zayn, causing him to gasp in surprise.  Liam again withdrew at his slow, agonizing pace.

**_“I love you like the warm feeling of a summer day with an easy breeze blowing through my hair.”_ **  Liam slammed hard back into Zayn.  Zayn’s head lulled back and his eyes half opened at the amazing feeling of this man inside of him.  Liam withdrew slowly.

**_“I love you like the smell of coffee in the morning.”_**   Liam slammed into Zayn and pulled out a little faster this time.

**_“I love you like the smell of freshly baked cookies.”_**   he slammed harder this time into Zayn and pulled out faster.  Zayn was so wrapped up in the emotions that Liam was bringing forth, he almost forgot he had to breathe.  Liam leaned in and kissed Zayn tenderly and sat back up to look at the boy laying under him. Liam had set a hard agonizing rhythm that left Zayn feeling so much emotionally and physically.  They were one, they were connected, their heart beats beat in unison as the two merged into one soul.

**_“And most importantly, I love you more than anyone has loved any other person, and I promise to never stop.”_**  Liam’s speech process was leaving him as he continued, his pace quickened and became off rhythm.  Zayn knew Liam was close. He reached his left hand up and cupped Liam’s cheek and said, **_“I love you Liam. So much that I can’t imagine my life without you.”_**  Soft tears glistened in Zayn’s eyes at the thought of losing Liam one day.  As if he was reading Zayn’s thoughts, Liam leaned down and whispered into his ear, ** _“I promise.  You’re never going to lose me.  I love you too much to ever leave you alone.”_**   With that, the two boys entered Nirvana together.

After they came down from their high, Liam lay snuggled into Zayn’s side; sated and content. He leaned up and kissed Zayn one last time for the evening and nestled his head into the crook of Zayn’s neck.

**_“Will you sing me to sleep again?  Please?”_ **

Zayn smiled, **_“I will always sing for you love.  You and only you.”_**

  
  
  


_“They read you Cinderella._

_You hoped it would come true,_

_that one day your Prince Charming_

_would come rescue you.”_

**_“He did.”_**   Liam said as his grip tightened around Zayn’s chest and he snuggled in a little tighter under Zayn’s arm.

**_“Hmmm?”_**  Zayn asked, lacing his fingers with Liam’s.  

_**“My Prince Charming rescued me.  When I thought times were rough, you were always there with me in spirit, rescuing me from the sadness and loneliness that I felt being over there.**_ ”

Zayn’s eyes became moist with emotions as he continued singing the song.

_“You like romantic movies, you never will forget_

_the way you felt when Romeo kissed Juliet._

_All this time that you’ve been waiting, you don’t have to wait no more.”_

Zayn paused, gathering up all the emotions he was feeling as he whispered, **_“I love you Liam.”_**

**_“I love you too, Zayn.”_**   Liam mumbled almost asleep.  Zayn tucked Liam tighter under his arm and pulled the covers tightly over them both.

**_“I promise Liam, I will love you until the end of time.  That’s a promise that I will never break.”_ **

  
  
  



	3. The Interview

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zayn introduces Liam as his boyfriend and Harry/Louis take a step forward in coming out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, I know this is a bit unrealistic in the sense that Zayn wouldn't be able to announce without PR's ok that he's in fact dating Liam. Neither would Harry and Louis. In my mind, everyone should be allowed to shout it from the rooftops that they're in a relationship and happy. Sadly, it's hard for celebs to come out and stay successful. Kudos to those who are brave enough to do it. 
> 
> I tried to make this chapter light and fun but also serious at the same time. This is how I imagine the boys reacting when they mingle with each other.
> 
> I know the chapters are long, so if they need to be split up, please let me know!
> 
> As always, I want to thank Eric for helping me so much with this. He has encouraged me to write and he proof reads when he has spare moments.
> 
> And last but not least, thank you all so much for reading, adding kudos, and commenting! I LOVE IT!!!

 

 ** _“Hey guys.”_**   Zayn said as he fist bumped Harry and hugged him with the other arm.

 

 ** _“Z, we have some news before we go on camera.  Let’s go to the back room and discuss it first.”_**  Harry started, tearing Zayn’s handsome face away from Liam’s gaze.  “ ** _Liam, you’re welcome to come with us, seeing how this kind of effects you as well.”_**   Harry said as he motioned with his head for Liam to follow.

 

Liam looked at Zayn, and then over to Harry and gave a short nod in agreement.  The group of five lads walked towards the back room in awkward silence.  Zayn paused and looked cautiously at Liam; he had a fleeting feeling in the pit of  his stomach that this wasn’t as social as Harry had initially let on.

 

 ** _“Mate, we wanted to let you know first,”_**   Harry started his gaze falling from Zayn’s brown eyes to the floor. **_“Uh……..”_**  Harry took a deep breath and looked over to Louis, who clasped their hands in between them.  His hand rubbing the back of his neck, straining to find the right words.

 

 ** _“Harry and I are together.  We’re not ready to announce it to the world, but we wanted you to know.”_**  Louis finished for a rather embarrassed Harry.  Louis never losing eye contact with the group of boys and Harry never looking up from their entangled hands.

 

Zayn took a brief moment to take in the news. **_"You told Niall first didn't you?"_**  He said in mock anger, while crossing his hands in front of his chest.  Harry gulped and nodded.   _ **"How DARE you!!"** _   He then launched himself onto the couch and grabbed the two boys in a vice grip of a hug.

 

 ** _“I’m so happy for you lads!” But I'll never forgive you for telling Niall first!"_**  he exclaimed as he tightened his grip around their backs and laughed into the crook of Harry’s neck.

 

Niall jumped up from his spot on the couch and initiated a group hug, in which Liam was invited into.  The five boys stood in their huddle, embraced by the others in the group, and Liam couldn’t help but to feel complete.  He had an amazing boyfriend and amazing friends standing around him, supporting him in what ever he needed. All he could think at that moment, was how  lucky he was.  He must have done a few good deeds in his lifetime for Karma to be so good to him right now.

 

Zayn broke the embrace first and wrapped his arm around Liam’s shoulder.

 

 ** _“Guys, if it’s alright with you, I want to bring up Liam in the interview today.  I’m ready for the world to officially know we’re together.”_**  Zayn looked over to Liam and smiled.

 ** _“And know that I’m so in love with this man, I would do anything for him.”_**  Zayn looked back to the group of boys and continued, **_“Are you lads okay with that?”_**

 

Niall clapped his hands together and said, **_“Absolutely!  I think it’s a brilliant idea!”_**    His Irish accent coming through thicker with his excitement in the moment.

 

The Quintet gathered up again, in a huge circular group hug, as Paul, their head of security, came in to give them their 5 minute warning.  Tears were wiped away from cheeks and smiles beamed brighter than the sun as the boys made their way out to the chairs; readying themselves for the barrage of questions they were bound to receive.

 

 ** _“Please help me give a warm welcome to the boys of One Direction.”_**  The interviewer started with, **_“Harry,”_**  Harry gave a small salute, ** _“Niall,”_**   Niall gave a big grin and a small nod of his head. **_“Zayn,”_ **  Zayn gave a shy wave of his hand.   ** _“And, last but not least, Louis.”_**  Louis bounced around his seat, giving a fluttering smile, while batting his luscious eyelashes.

 

 ** _“So boys, tell me, you are just coming off of a long tour.  You’ve been everywhere from Australia to the States.  How has the slight change in your music been received by your fans?”_**  the interviewer asked.  All 4 boys, and Liam from behind the curtain, sighed in relief; she didn’t start off with the hard questions.

 

 ** _“They’ve been great.”_**  Zayn answered.   ** _“Yeah, cute as a button, every single one of them.”_**  Harry smiled in his “Marcel” voice.  This made the other 3 boys and the interviewer giggle. **_“That’s Harry, always able to make us laugh.”_**  Louis said, crossing his ankles and leaning back a bit in his seat so he could have an unobstructed view of  Harry.   ** _“Yeah, but really, the fans have  been great.  We’ve always said that we have the best fans in the world.  We’re not taking that back now.  They’ve supported us through this last album and we owe everything to them.”_**  Niall finished, trying to hide a bit of his Irish that was trying to come through.

 

 ** _“So, Harry, We see that you have a new love interest,”_**  she started.  Harry looked sideways to Louis, who has seemed to find his fingers more interesting than the question at the moment. **_“Can you give us the scoop?  Are you and Peyton a couple?”_**

 

 ** _“Yeah.  I mean no, she’s a great girl, but we’re just friends.”_ **  Harry answered as neutrally as possible, squirming uncomfortably in his seat. _“Is it really worth it?”_   he quietly asks himself.   _“Is he worth coming out to the entire world? What would this do to our career? Could we really be in the limelight and make us work?”_  Harry chewed on his bottom lip, quietly contemplating what he wanted to do. This made the interviewer smile, thinking she had him ready to admit to a scandal.

 

 ** _“Come on Harry, no real crush there?  You were caught kissing under the stairs the other night at the pub.”_**  Louis’ head shot up and turned in the direction of Harry, giving him his full attention now.  

Louis nudged Harry’s black clad boots with his red Tom’s, ** _“Yeah Harry, you WERE caught kissing her weren’t  you, mate?”_**

 

Harry looks at Louis and gives an uncomfortable laugh, **_“Yeah, that was an accident.  I mean, I was kissing her goodnight, a friendly kiss goodnight.  And it was taken out of context.  We’re just friends.”_**

 

 _ **“I’ll accept that, for now.  But one could wonder how one accidentally kisses another person.”** _  She gives a wink to Harry and turns to his band mate.   ** _“Zayn, we have you photographed with a handsome soldier, what would you like to tell us about that?”_**  She asked, batting her green eyes, feeling like she’s breaking some news at the moment.

 

 ** _“Actually, I had planned to make a statement later in the interview about Liam, but I guess now is as good of a time as any.  Liam, could you come out here please?”_** Zayn said standing up, holding both his arms up for Liam to walk into.

 

Liam took a deep breath and slowly walked into the waiting arms of Zayn.  He tucked his chin into the crook of Zayn’s neck and inhaled his scent to help relax himself.

 

 ** _“Liam, babe, tell them your name and ranking.”_**  Zayn said as he sat back down into his chair, pulling Liam onto his lap.

 

 ** _“I’m Staff Sergeant Liam Payne.  I serve is the Army right now, but I have plans to move into the Army Reserves soon.”_**  Liam said relaxing into Zayn’s hold.

 

 ** _“I am in town on R &R and have to head back out after my 6 weeks are up.”_ ** he said, giving a small smile to the interviewer, silently hoping she didn’t bring out any hard questions.

 

Harry leaned forward, resting his elbows on the edge of his knees.  Niall leaned over and whispered something into his ear, which made Louis sit up straight and watch the interaction more intently.  These small motions were missed by the interviewer who thought her story at the moment, rested on Liam and Zayn.

 

 ** _“I wish Lou and I could be like that.”_**  Harry whispered back to Niall.  Niall nodded his acknowledgement and gave a small sad smile to Louis.  He knew Louis was thinking the same thing as well.  They were all happy for their friend, but Harry and Louis couldn’t help but to be a little jealous that Zayn was comfortable enough to come out to the world and they weren’t.

 

 ** _“And you never know, Liam here, could end up being the 5th member of the band., he’s THAT good.”_**  Zayn said laughing, knocking Harry out of his reverie and back to reality.  He gave a small laugh as well and sat back in his seat, crossing his ankles on the floor.

 

 ** _“Louis, you’re awfully quiet today.”_  ** the interviewer said.  

Louis slouches back just a bit, and if you weren’t looking for his shoulders to drop, you wouldn’t have noticed the slight droop they gave.   ** _“Oh no love, these two here are telling their story.  I was respecting them.  Continue on.”_**  he said with a wave of his hand, clearly dismissing the interviewer.  This earned him a frown from Harry, but at the moment, Louis didn’t care.  Louis didn’t care because he was too busy being jealous of the public relationship that Zayn and Liam were currently sharing.

 

 _ **“Smile babe.”** _  Zayn said to Louis, offering up warm eyes and a gentle smile.

 

Louis takes a deep calming breath, and leans forward to see Harry.  Harry’s biting his bottom lip while playing with the charm on his necklace. **_“Hazza?”_**  Louis uses his pet name, hoping to convey the question across.  Harry’s head snaps up, dropping the charm to rest softly against his chest.  The duo have a conversation with their eyes, all while under the intent gaze of the interviewer.  Harry nods towards Zayn, as if saying, _“this is his moment, don’t ruin it for him.”_  Zayn catches on and shrugs as he says, _**“If it makes you happy Lou.”**_  The interviewer still not quite understanding what’s going on.  Niall stands up, offering his chair to Louis, “Here, this is meant for you Lou.”

 

 ** _“Hazza?”_ **  Louis questioned again.  Harry just smiled and patted the now vacant seat sitting beside of him.  Louis sighed in relief and stood to exchange seats with Niall. As the two passed by each other, Niall clapped Louis on the shoulder and whispered, **_“I hope you know what you’re doing mate.  Don’t hurt him.”_**  Louis gave a curt nod and continued towards Harry.

 

As Louis sat down, he rested his right hand on Harry’s knee, gave it a small pat and squeeze, then rested it on his own lap.  Harry smiled and lay his head on Louis’ shoulder as the interviewer held a lifted eye to the group.

 

 _ **“Well, that was interesting boys.  Care to elaborate?”**_  all five boys sucked in a hesitant breath and Louis answered with, _ **“Not at this time, ERICA.”**_  He added her name for good measure, and sent her a death glare to get the point across that this topic was off limits until he said it wasn’t.

 

“ ** _So, Liam,”_**  she continued without missing a beat.   ** _“Are you seriously thinking about a career in music?”_**

 

Liam laughed, _**“No ma’am, I can’t sing.”**_  the other four boys huffed in unison.

 

 ** _“That’s not entirely true,  you know.”_ **  Louis said.   ** _“I’ve heard him and Zayn singing in the showers before.  Mate you’re good.”_**  he finished.   ** _“Yeah, and he harmonizes well with all of us.  He has that voice that’s just good enough to make it, and just unique enough to be something great; but when you put  him and Zayn together, they are just utterly amazing.”_**  Harry smiled, looking Liam in the eyes.   _ **“I would be honored if he joined the group, hypothetically speaking.  Nothing in the works just yet, but mate, if you ever want to, let us know.”**_

 

The other boys replied, **_“Yeah, mate,”_** from Niall.   ** _“I’d love it, babe.”_**  Zayn smiled as he nuzzled his nose into Liam’s cheek.   _ **“Right, mate.”**_  Louis finished.

 

 _ **“Well, I think it’s unanimous, they think you have what it takes.  What do you say Mr. Payne?”** _  the interviewer asked in a sarcastically sweet voice.  

 

 ** _“Well,”_**  Liam started but paused a moment. **_“I don’t know ma’am.  I have another year left in the Army before I can retire.  I had planned to join the Reserves; it would be hard to tour and be in the Military.”_ **  he paused, when Zayn finished, “ ** _Babe, you don’t have to make any decisions right now.  We’re just going to enjoy the next five weeks.”_ **  he leaned forward slightly and kissed Liam on the base of his shoulder.   ** _“Plus, you can always sing to me at night, instead of me always singing to you.”_**  he gave Liam a cocky lopsided grin.

 

 ** _“Deal.”_ **  Liam said, still there was something in his eyes that told Zayn that he was worried about something.  He made a mental note to talk to Liam when they got back to their apartment.

 

 ** _“Well, there you have it guys. Zayn is dating Liam, and he’s a pretty good bloke in my eyes.  Harry and Peyton are just friends, and the boys are interested in Liam joining the band. You all have an amazing rest of the afternoon, and I thank you for taking the time to talk to me today.”_ **  the interviewer finished, looking at the boys.

 

Harry looked over to Louis and then back over to Zayn.  The other four boys nodded to Harry, and Harry turned his attention back to Erica.

 

 ** _“One last thing, madam, before we end the interview, if you don’t mind.”_**  Harry politely said.

 

 ** _“Sure, go on love.”_**  She said in hopes that Harry would reveal what’s going on between him and Louis.

 

 ** _“Me and Peyton are just friends because,”_**  Harry started and paused.  He lifted his hand and pinched his nose, gathering his thoughts.  Louis brought his right hand up and started drawing lazy circles on his shoulder.   ** _“Should I love?”_**  he questioned.

 

 ** _“No, I can say it.  Just give me a sec.”_**   Harry said giving Louis a small brief smile.  

 

 ** _“Babe?  Are you good?”_**   Zayn asked, concerned for his friend.  He knew that coming out was a hard thing to do,  but coming out in front of millions must be incredibly hard for him.  Zayn was out when the band formed, so announcing he had a boyfriend was a natural thing for him.  But for Harry?  Harry wasn't out, so Zayn clapped him on the shoulder, mentally lending him as much support as he could.

 

 ** _“Yeah mate, I’m sure.  Just hold on a sec.”_**  Harry sighed.

 

He took a deep breath and turned his attention back to the interviewer.

 

 ** _“I’m not seeing Peyton.  Don’t get me wrong, she’s a great girl, but she’s not my type.”_**  he started. **_“What is your type?  Viewers want to know what it takes to woo the Harry Styles.”_**  she said with a large smile.

 

Niall leaned forward in his chair, after having been silent through most of the interaction. " ** _Miss, give him a second to gather his thoughts, like he’s asked, and he will tell you.”_**  he defensively told the interviewer, who whispered a soft, quick   ** _“Sorry.”_**   in response. “

 

 _ **“Unless their name is ‘Louis Tomlinson,'  they don’t stand a chance.”**_  Harry said looking to Louis.   _ **“He’s the light of my life, my soul mate.  No one could ever hold a candle to him.”**_

 

Erica gasped, ** _“Harry, are you saying?”_**  she paused.

 

 ** _“That’s right ma’am, Harry’s gay, and he’s with Louis.”_**  Liam cheekily helped out.

 

 ** _“And they’re happy, miss.  Happier than they’ve been in a long time.”_** Niall finished for Liam. ** _“I am their official spokesman, and I would like to ask our fans to give them some privacy as they get used to being with each other in the limelight.”_**  Niall said and gave a wicked smirk to Louis, who in return, rolled his eyes.  Harry ducked his head and smiled shyly, batting his eyelashes.  Liam tried to hold back the hysterical laughter that threatened to bubble up.

 

 ** _“Erica, honestly, we’re together; we have been for a few months.  We just told Zayn about us this morning.  We wanted to tell him before, but he was so worried about Liam being in the war and all.  We just wanted to wait until he was himself before we dumped this on him.  It’s a lot for the lads to get used to, and a lot for the fans as well.  So, please guys, please continue to support us and know that for the first time in a very long time, Harry and I are happy.”_**  Louis finished, running a soft hand through Harry’s unruly curls.

 

**_“And with that, this is Erica Smyth signing off for Kiss Radio.”_ **

 

 ** _“And we’re clear.”_**   was heard by the producer in the background.

 

Harry and Louis took a deep  breath as they stole a quick kiss before they were whisked away to the next interview.  Not knowing what the rest of their future held, but knowing as long as they had each other and the boys, they’d be okay.

 

 


	4. And so it begins.......

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has a dream sequence and has Liam showing reservations about doing something that he loves. This is the beginning of his PTSD. 
> 
> I have taken out much of the dream sequence because it was a little rough. If you want the chapter with the actual dream, DM me and I’ll send it. With the dream, this chapter is rated “M” reading it as it is right now, PG.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a hard chapter for me because I'm going off of the actions of a relative of mine who has served 3 tours. So, I hope you like this chapter. 
> 
> As always, thank you for reviewing and hitting "Kudos!" It means a lot to me!

**_“No! Stop!  Kretcher!  NO!!”_ **  Liam is thrashing around in the bed, clearly having a nightmare.  Zayn sits up as quickly as he can and start to shake him, to try to bring him out of the terror he was living……….. or reliving.  He wipes the sweat from Liam’s brow and tries to whisper calming words into the terrorized boy’s ears.  Zayn holds the boys as he thrashes around on the bed, tangling himself up in the blankets and then fighting to get free again.  A thick film of sweat was beginning to bead on his brow as he was fighting the imaginary demons in his dreams.

 Liam screams **_“Commander!!”_**   and wakes with a start.  He looks around the room, with a wild look in his eyes, while he’s trying to regain his bearings. His breaths are coming short and fast and he feels like he’s right  back in the war, right back in that dream; or did he ever really leave the war zone?  He sees Zayn and sighs in relief ; he knows he's safe.  

Zayn sees him start to relax just a little when he comes back to reality. He is there sitting quietly beside of Liam, rubbing soothing circles over his shoulders and down his back, up and down his arms.

 ** _“Do you want to talk about it babe?”_**   He continues rubbing small circles on Liam's back.

  ** _“No, no I don’t.”_**  Liam gasps out. **_“Thanks for the offer, but no.”_**  He pulls the covers off of himself and pads towards the bathroom and quietly closes the door.

 Zayn sighs when he hears the shower running and lays back against his pillow.  He feels something wet on his face and reaches up to discover that he’s been crying.  He wipes a few tears away and takes in a deep jagged breath.

  ** _“How can they do this to you babe?”_ **  he whispers. He cries as he buries his head into Liam’s pillow, taking in the familiar scent.

 He hears the water turn off and he wipes the rest of his tears from his face.   ** _“Be strong.”_ **  he chants over and over again, willing the tears not to return.

 Liam pads back out of the bathroom; wearing nothing but a fluffy white towel, and slides back in bed beside of Zayn.  He snuggles into his lover’s arms and sighs deeply.  Zayn wraps one strong around Liam, and reaches up and softly rubs Liam’s cheek with the other.

  ** _"Feeling better, babe?”_**  he whispers as he's peppering kisses to Liam's temple.

  ** _“I’m safe when I’m here in your arms.”_**  Liam whispers with tears spilling from his eyes.   ** _“You always make things better for me Zayn.  When things get too rough, you’re always there to pick me up.  I don’t deserve you.  I never have._ _”_**  The end of his sentence is said so quietly, Zayn’s not sure he’s heard it correctly.  

 He sits up, **_“Li, I’m only going to say this one time babe, so please listen to me, ok?”_**  Liam, with tears running down his face, nods.

  ** _“I love you Liam James Payne.  The sun and the moon rise in your eyes and the sky is a little bit brighter because you’re in my life.  Nothing, and I repeat nothing would EVER make me love you less.  And Liam, if we’re being truthful here, it’s me that doesn’t deserve you.”_**  Liam starts to protest, but Zayn puts a finger against his lips to hush him.   

  ** _“You fight to protect me and everyone else in this country.  You put everyone else’s lives above your own, Li.  You’re the bravest man that I know, that I’ve EVER known and I love you.  I love you Li, I love YOU, and I always will.”_ **   Zayn leaned over and kissed Liam and put forth every bit of emotion he was capable of mustering up into that kiss. H needed Liam to feel like he was loved and wanted.

 When they broke apart, Zayn made slow, passionate love to Liam.  Taking time to worship every strip of skin that was exposed, and exposed every strip of skin that was covered.  Tonight, this wasn’t about sex, this wasn’t about need, this was about making Liam feel like he was the most cherished person that ever walked on the planet.  Zayn just hoped he succeeded in making Liam understand just how much he loved and needed him.

 The next day, Zayn needed to meet the boys in the recording studio, and somehow managed to talk Liam into joining them.  Liam was still feeling a little down from the previous night’s dream, but decided that being around his friends may be just what he needed to pick himself up, and was he right.  

  ** _“Liam, mate, do you want to do some background vocals for us?”_ **  Niall winked and smiled at the bigger man.

  ** _“You know you’re the best singer of the group.”_**  Louis cheekily finished for Niall as he ruffled Niall’s usually pristinely styled blonde hair.  Niall batted Louis’ hand away and tackled him to the ground.  A tickling match ensued with both boys ending up in a laughing fit.

 Liam smiled and nodded.  He secretly loved to sing, and given the opportunity to lay down some vocals appealed to him more than he first realized; but he was a soldier, not a pop-star. 

  ** _“That’d be great lads, I mean, if you guys really think I'm good enough to.”_**  he said shrugging as he gave a smile to Zayn, silently asking for his permission.

 Zayn walked over to Liam and circled his arms around the taller man’s neck, _**“I would love for you to have a part in our album, babe.  You already play a huge part in our lives, it's only natural that you be part of our album as well.  We all love you Li.  So, so much.”** _  Zayn said as he pecked Liam on the nose.  Liam wrapped his arms around Zayn’s waist and nuzzled his nose in the base of his slender neck.  He inhaled Zayn’s masculine scent as he kissed him lightly on the ear lobe.

  _ **“Get a room.”**_  was heard along with a few wolf whistles.  Zayn’s face crinkled up and his eyes shined as he laughed at his friends.   _“How did I get so lucky?”_  he thought to himself.

 The group of friends walked back into the studio and they each put on their headphones to prepare for their parts to be recorded.

  _“I won’t let these little things slip out of my mouth.”_  Liam and Zayn sing together, their voices were harmonizing much better than Niall could ever remember.  " _Cause if I do, it’s you, it’s you they add up to, and I’m in love with you, and all your little things.”_

  ** _“Ok boys, we need to try that again from the top of the verse.  Zayn sing a little softer so we can really hear the quality to Liam’s voice.  Liam, you’re doing great lad, try to sing a little louder so we can get a clean recording.  One more time boys.”_**

 Zayn smiled contently, giving a cheeky thumbs up.  “ ** _You got it Bob.”_**  He said and the duo sang their hearts out to each other and meant every word in this beautiful love song.

 After about 3 hours of singing, they all decided to take a break and head down to a local deli for lunch.  Liam wasn’t prepared for the sheer amount of teenage girls screaming when they walked out of the studio and towards their cars.  Zayn grabbed Liam and Niall’s hands and escorted them to their car.  The other two were sandwiched with their bodyguards and were escorted into a second car.

 ** _“How do you do that day in and day out?”_**  Liam asks. **_“I think it would drive me batty if I had to deal that all the time.”_**  He realized he was shaking a little from the thought of having that many people around him.

 Zayn snickers, ** _“You get used to it after a while_**. ** _”_**

  ** _“I don’t know mate, it’s still hard for me, but I utterly hate small confined spaces.”_**  Niall says crossing his arms with a shudder. He subconsciously rubs his hands up and down his arms, trying to soothe his wracked nerves.

 Zayn reaches up and pats Niall’s back, ** _“It’s ok mate, I’ll always be here to protect you.  No crazy girls will ever get my man.”_ **  Zayn winks as Niall throws his head back in a gut shaking laugh.  

  _ **“Thanks, mate.  Love you too.”**_  Niall said wiping the big happy tears from his eyes.

  ** _“What about me, love?”_**  Liam says with a fake pout, batting his impossibly long eye lashes.

 Zayn smiles and taps him on the nose, ** _“You’ll always be the man of my dreams Li.  I will always love you above anyone else.”_**  He takes Liam’s chin in his hands and kisses him so passionately that Niall shifts a bit in his seat.   ** _“Mates, I’m about to embarrass myself if you guys don’t stop.”_**

 Three loud laughs were heard as the car stopped and the door was opened and the crowd gathered back around the arrival of the biggest band in the country.

 

 


	5. Trials and Tribulations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liam has his first episode. Bear with me, there may be some triggers here. I'm going to rate it PG-13, but it's not pretty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a long chapter and was really really hard for me to write, as I've dealt with family members and PTSD from combat. The trigger is very real and I was honestly a little teary when I read it to myself. 
> 
> As always thank you all for leaving comments, I know this is a sensitive subject and I thank you all for coming in and reading.

 

 ** _“Zayn! Zayn!  Martin Smort from Entertainment Men’s, can you tell us what happened?”_ **  

 Zayn was being mobbed as he rushed out of his apartment and into the ambulance with Liam.  What HAD happened, he wasn’t quite sure.  One minute he was with Liam and the next minute, there was a crashing sound from the living room.  The sound sent Liam back to the war, back to where he was fighting to stay alive, and fighting Zayn for dear life.  Niall heard the commotion first and was right there trying to help Zayn and calm Liam while Harry called for help.  Louis was barking out commands and taking control of the situation until the paramedics got there.  In the end, they had to sedate Liam enough to get him on the stretcher and out of the house.

Zayn had been treated for a few bruises but right now, he was more interested in what had happened to the man he loved more than himself.  

All he could really make out was the different color lights flashing in his driveway. Everything was a blur as he tried to make his way towards the ambulance.  He looked around for his bodyguards, but decided to go ahead and tackle the crowd on his own.

 ** _“No comment,”_ **  he said as he stepped into the ambulance and closed the double doors behind of him.

Niall, Louis, and Harry, along with their bodyguards exited Zayn’s apartment and entered their car.  They could all five be seen wearing dark glasses to block out the flashes but also to hide their eyes; which would clearly tell everyone that they had been crying.

Following the ambulance to the hospital had been the longest ride of their lives, they decided.  

They all gathered in the waiting room, sipping on burnt coffee, while Zayn spent the next few hours dealing with doctors and Psychologists.  

 ** _“How’s he doing, mate?”_**  Louis stood and asked as Zayn finally came into the waiting room.

 ** _“They think he has PTSD.”_**  He sighed as he wiped his hands over his face, taking a moment to clear his mind.  He takes a breath and sat down on the couch next to Louis.

 ** _“They think he’ll be able to go home in a couple of days, but for now, they have him sedated well enough that he’s slept since I walked in.”_**  He shrugged, **_“It’s good I guess, that he trusts me enough to sleep.”_**

  ** _“It’s my fault.”_**  Harry said quietly.    ** _“If I hadn’t have broken the glass…………”_**

  ** _"Then it would have happened somewhere else, mate.”_**  Niall interrupted, rubbing circles over Harry’s hunched shoulders.

Louis sat on the other side of Harry and wrapped both arms around his neck, holding him in a side hug.   ** _“Yeah babe, we’re lucky we were with him when it happened.  So that he could get help and not a trip to the county courthouse in the morning.”_**    Louis said nuzzling his nose against Harry’s cheek,  trying to lighten the mood.

Zayn smiled with a far away look on his face. **_“Imagine him in lock up.   He can’t stand being in his own bathroom for more than 5 minutes.  He’d have the guards dibbing up their own money to post bail, just to get him out of their hair.”_**  He finished, running a hand through his now unruly locks.

That earned a chuckle and a few **_“yeah’s”_   **from the group, but the truth was, no one’s heart was really into joking around.

 ** _“I have to go finish up with his insurance and stuff.  I need to notify his CO and then his parents.  Can you guys sit with him until I get back?”_**  Zayn asked as he stood, fiddling with Liam’s wallet to find the appropriate cards.

 ** _“No.”_**  Harry said.  Zayn looked up and frowned at the curly haired boy.   ** _“Give us the information and we will notify them.”_**  He reached out his hand to take the tattered leather wallet away from Zayn.  

 ** _“Yeah mate, you go sit with your boy, we’ll handle this.”_**  Louis said as he walked over to Zayn and wrapped both arms around him waist.  For the first time since he stepped foot in the hospital, Zayn cried and all 3 boys were there to catch him. Six strong arms found their way wrapped solidly around Zayn’s body and held him as his body wracked with tears cried for the boy he loved. When he calmed down a bit, he sniffled a few times and smiled a small smile.

 ** _“Thanks guys. You’re the best friends I could have asked for.”_**  he quietly whispered as he reluctantly broke away from their embraces and wiped a few tears from his eyes, **_“If you need me to help, just come find me.”_**  With that, he turned and walked towards Liam’s room.

Zayn quietly entered Liam’s room and sat down beside of the sleeping man.   ** _“I love you.”_**   he whispered and picked up Liam’s hand, careful not to bother the IV taped there.

 ** _“I love you too.”_** was softly mumbled as Liam stirred in bed, trying to find a comfortable position.

 ** _“Babe, you’re the best thing that’s happened to me.  I wish I could take it all away.”_**  he peppered kisses into Liam’s hair.   ** _“But, I’m here now.”_**  He wiped some imaginary bangs out of Liam’s eyes and sat back in his seat.

 ** _“Hmmm.”_**   he heard and jumped slightly, not realizing he had company.  He jumped up quickly out of his seat upon seeing it was Liam’s attending physician.  

 ** _“Doctor, I apologize.  I thought we were alone.”_ **  He scurried backwards so that the doctor could take a closer look at the sleeping man.

**_“It’s ok lad.  I’m Dr. Ferguson, but most people call me “Fergy.”  How’s our patient?”_ **

**_“He’s slept since I’ve been in here.”_ **  Zayn said returning to his vigil beside of Liam’s small  bed. **_“Are the restraints really necessary?”_**  He asked, picking at the vile white ropes holding Liam’s arms to the railing of the bed.

 ** _“Until we see how he’s reacting to the medication, they are. Not only for your safety but for his as well.  Sometimes, when a patient wakes up and they’re in unfamiliar surroundings, they can become….. quite different from their normal selves.  But, since he’s sleeping and you’re here for a bit, I think we can loosen them.  Just make sure to alert the nurse before you head out so he can tighten them back.”_**  He said with a wink and busied himself with loosening the offending knots.

A quiet **_“thanks”_**   was mumbled as Zayn went back to stroking Liam’s cheeks.

 ** _“You must be…….. the significant other?”_**  The doctor asked with a raised eyebrow.

 ** _“Boyfriend, actually.  I’m Zayn, Zayn Malik.”_**  He stood up and offered his hand to the older man.

 ** _“Nice to meet you Mr. Malik.  I take it the three lads, not so quietly standing outside, know you both as well?”_**   He motioned towards the entrance to the room, where he saw Niall’s face smashed up against the small window and Louis waving like a mad man behind of him.  Harry wasn’t in view, but Zayn knew he was right there.

Zayn laughed, **_“Yeah, they’re the best people that I’ve ever met and we’re lucky to have them in our lives.”_**

 ** _“Very well then, I’ll allow them to come in one at a time.  No more than that, our patient here needs his rest, and those boys nearly tackled me wanting to get in.”_**  He gave a funny little chuckle that Zayn found more creepy than anything else.   ** _“Just a few minutes at a time, visiting hours are over.  Have a good evening Mr. Malik.”_**

 ** _“You too Fergy.  And thanks…………. you know, for letting them come in,”_**  and a silent _“and everything else.”_  was shared with his eyes.

 ** _“Just don’t tell anyone.  I do have a reputation to keep.”_ **  He half smiled and left the room.

Niall was the first one of the group to enter.  His normal bouncy giddy energy had been replaced with shy timid energy.  It was a little weird to Zayn but he rolled with it.  Everyone reacted to emergencies in different ways, he assumed this was Niall’s way.  Zayn shrugged the thoughts away when he heard Niall talking.

 ** _“How is he mate?”_ **  Niall whispered, slowly running a finger down the white restraints.

 ** _“He’s OK I think.  He’s slept a lot; Fergy said once he wakes up and we see how he’s reacting to his medication, they may be able to take those things off.”_**  He leaned back in his seat and shuddered at the thought of being tied down to a bed.

Niall crossed his arms in front of his chest and gave an amused eyebrow raise, **_“Fergy?”_**

Zayn laughed, **_“Yeah, his doctor.  He said people call him that.”_ **  He finished with a shrug of his shoulders.

Niall laughed, **_“How odd mate.  I’m going to head out; let Louis come in before he decides to break through the door and murder me.”_ **  They both looked towards the door and see a bouncing Louis waving manically at them both and a pensive Harry standing beside of him.

 

He slowly pressed a kiss to Liam’s temple. **_“Rest well mate , I’ll see you tomorrow.  Well, you know, unless Zayn murders me for kissing you or Louis murders me for taking too long.  We have violent friends.”_**  He waved cheekily as he walked through the door.

 

Louis came bounding in and went straight to Liam’s bedside.  He plopped down on the small space left between Liam and the edge of the bed and began humming softly to him.

 ** _“He seems so peaceful.”_**  Louis said to more to himself.   ** _“A much different person than we saw a bit ago.”_**  He frowned.   ** _“Do you know what medicine they have him on?”_ **  He finally directed a statement to Zayn.

**_“No, Fergy didn’t tell me.  But he probably will sleep a few more hours.  He stirred a bit when I walked in, but for the most part, he’s been sleeping.”_ **

**_“Fergy?”_** Louis asked with amusement etched in his face.

Zayn shrugged. He leaned forward again, picking up Liam’s hand and pressing a small kiss to the back of it.

 ** _“Harry’s outside beating himself up.”_**  Louis whispered as he absentmindedly continued rubbing the restraints.

Zayn’s head popped up, **_“Why mate?  It’s not his fault, no one here blames him.”_**

Louis finally let a small tear fall down his cheek.  He was hurting for three friends at the moment and the emotions were finally catching up to him.

 ** _“But, he blames himself.”_ **  Louis whispers and wipes away the few stray tears.

**_“Do you think he can have a few moments alone with Liam?  I think it would that help him see that he’s ok and he didn’t do anything to hurt him?”_ **

Zayn nodded.   ** _“You’re a great friend Lou.  How did I get so lucky?”_**

Louis shrugged, **_“I’ll go grab Hazza, give you a moment before he comes in.  Sound good?”_ **  he stood up and headed towards the door.

Zayn nodded as he chewed on his bottom lip.  Louis smiled and walked back over to him, placing a small kiss on his cheek.   ** _“I know you’re worried mate, but he’ll be ok.  We’ll all get him through this.  His CO is coming tomorrow.  He said something about discharging him on Medical.  May be the best thing for him right now.”_**

 ** _“He won’t have to go back?”_**  Zayn asked with tears in his eyes.

Louis just shrugged and hugged him.

The two stood up and headed towards the door and allowed Harry to have the time he needed with Liam while they all talked quietly in the hallway.  Zayn and Louis nether straying far from the door in case their partner needed their help; Niall wanting to be there in case his friends needed anything.  They were all like that, they felt like they would lay down their lives for their brothers and they were well content with that.

After about 10 minutes in the hallway, they decided to walk in and check on the duo.  What they walked in on was the probably most beautiful thing the boys could have imagined they would see.

Harry had crawled up onto the bed beside of Liam and had snuggled down in the blankets; his head resting softly on Liam’s shoulder sleeping. Lazy snores were coming from both boys as Liam stirred, pulling Harry closer to his body.  Harry released his strong hold on Liam and rested his hand on the other boy’s chest.

Zayn mused, **_“Even in his sleep, he’s tender.  You’re a lucky man mate."_ **  Niall smiled, **_“We all are mate, we all are.”_**

 

 


	6. The Next Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things start to go a little better for the boys.

**_“Mr. Payne, I’m going to go ahead and take these restraints off ok?  Just sit back and relax for me.”_**  Fergy was quietly and slowly giving Liam instructions when Zayn walked into the small room.

Liam smiled, **_“Zayn!”_**   as he lifted his still restrained arms in an attempt to hug the leather clad man.

 ** _“He seems to be in a better mood this morning?  Medication working ok Fergy?”_**    Zayn asks as he fumbled around helping the doctor loosen the foul restraints.  His nervous energy getting the better of him again as he sighed loudly.   Once his hand was free, Zayn lifted it up to his lips to kiss the soreness away.

**_“No son, this is purely you.”_ **

**_“So, can we spring him Fergy McFerguson?”_ **  Niall says as he comes barreling into the room, launching himself into Liam’s arms causing a _“harumph”_ and then a laugh come from the larger man.

 ** _“Mate, don’t break him.”_**    Harry said as he pulls Niall off of the boy and gave him a small gentle squeeze.

 ** _“Ah hum…. Mr. Payne, would you kindly remove your hands from my boyfriend’s curls?”_ **  Louis crossed his arms in front of his chest and laughed out loud as Liam ran his fingers through Harry’s curls, inhaling his shampoo.

 ** _“He’s the boy with the curly hair, who doesn’t love the boy with the curly hair?”_**   Liam retorted as he twisted his fingers through a rather springy curl, earning a huge grin from Harry.

A round of   ** _“true’s”_   **were heard.

**_“Ok, boys, because you’re great people, I’m allowing all of you to be in the room this time.  I’m all for breaking rules when they benefit my patients.  However, if you upset him, only Mr. Malik over there can stay.  Got it?”_ **

A unanimous nod of heads were seen around the room.

 ** _“Good.  Boys, have a nice visit.  Mr. Malik, can I see you in out the hallway for a moment please?”_**  Dr. Ferguson asked as he scribbled some notes in Liam’s chart and returned it to the foot of the boy’s bed.

 ** _“Sure.”_ **  Zayn leaned over and gave a small peck to Liam’s nose. **_“I’ll be right back, babe.”_**    Liam nodded and quietly watched Zayn leave the room with the older man.

**_“Mr. Malik, right now, we have Mr. Payne on a low dosage of Prozac just to calm him down a bit.  Now, be aware that it can take up to two  weeks or so before it gets completely into his system and to start working effectively.  I would like to keep him here for another day or two just to make sure he has no adverse reactions to the medication and make sure he doesn’t need any further dosage adjustments.  Also, he needs to start therapy with Dr. Macy.  She’s the best in the business and I would only recommend her right now.  We’ve spoken with the VA and his CO is filling out his paperwork as we speak for medical leave.  I can’t guarantee discharge, but I can keep him here for a bit.  Do you have any questions for me before I head out?”_ **

  
**_“Is it ok to act normal around him?  Like, hugging, touching is ok, yeah?”_**    Zayn asked shyly.

**_“Mr. Malik, right now being normal is the best thing for him.  Don’t treat him like he’s sick, treat him like you would any other day of the week.  But, I do caution you, too much too soon could trigger him, so talk with Dr. Macy before he sees her and get some information on triggers and how to handle them.  She may want to do a few family therapy sessions to help him ease back into civilian life and help you deal with any further incidents.”_ **

Dr. Ferguson hands Zayn a business card with the doctor’s contact information and gives a quick nod.  

 ** _“Any other questions?”_   ** Dr. Ferguson asked.

 ** _“How soon should I contact Dr. Macy?”_**    Zayn was fiddling with the business card and not quite brave enough to look at the doctor.

 ** _“Before you walk back into that room I would say.”_**    He gave a small smile.   ** _“It’s important for you and your friends to be a good support system for Mr. Payne right now; and from what I can see you are.  Sometimes tho, the support system needs a little support.   It’s a long process but one that he can do, if you’ll be there for him.  If you need anything else, just ring my nurse.  He has orders to get me if anything and I do mean anything happens.  Have a good morning Mr. Malik”_**

 

 ** _“Thanks Fergy.”_**    Zayn called out after the retreating man.   ** _“I appreciate it.”_**

 

 ** _“Just doing my job.”_   ** He threw over his shoulder.

Zayn sighed and leaned his head against the white brick wall.  Somehow the firmness of the wall made him feel secure enough to make the call to Dr. Macy to schedule an emergency session before he went back into see Liam.  After making the appointment, he sighed as he placed his cell phone into his coat pocket and headed back into the room.  He leaned in and kissed Liam on the temple and pulls back to just savor the thought that Liam was ok; and laughed along with the group as Harry said something not so funny.

Zayn pulls Louis aside while the other boys are laughing with Liam.   ** _“I have to go to  an appointment with a shrink in an hour, can you just keep an eye out really quickly until I get back?  Make sure Niall doesn’t suffocate him and Harry doesn’t make him cry, please?”_ **  He laughed at the sight of Niall laying beside of Liam, gesturing with his hands, both boys engrossed in a silly story.

_**“Sure, mate.  No problem.”** _

**_***************************_ **

**_“Mr. Malik, it’s nice to meet you.”_ **   Dr. Macy said as she shook hands with the darker boy.

 ** _“Thanks for seeing me on such short notice.”_**    he said pulling his hand back and sitting down in the arm chair. It took about five minutes of imaginary lint picking before he could make long-term eye contact with the doctor.

 ** _“Dr. Ferguson has sent over Liam’s medical records and his recommendations for a course of treatment.  Did he tell you that I specialize in PTSD and family therapy?”_**    She looked up from the file she was flipping through, waiting for Zayn’s response.

 ** _“No ma’am, he just said he would only recommend you to me.  To tell you the truth, I’m not sure why I’m here and Liam’s not.”_ **   He was nervously rubbing the back of his neck, trying to release the pent up nerves.  He had never seen a Psychiatrist before and he wasn’t sure what he was supposed to say and do.

 ** _“That’s ok, Mr. Malik."_**    She started.

 ** _“Zayn, please call me Zayn.  Mr. Malik is my dad.”_**    He smiled, still fumbling with his fingers and swiping the back of his neck every once in a while.

 ** _“Sure, Zayn.  It’s ok for you to feel confused and nervous, but I’m here to help you.  I’m not the enemy here; and sometimes I may have you do things that Liam may not like.  For instance, not catering to him when he’s not in his episodes.  He needs normalcy, not to be treated like he’s an invalid.  It looks like you have already asked Dr. Ferguson about that and he told you the same thing I just did, correct?”_ **   She’s still looking through Liam’s file.

 ** _“Yes ma’am.  We weren’t sure what we were allowed to do since we don’t know what his triggers are.  I guess that’s why I’m here??”_**    He shrugged.

**_“Good, good.  I’m going to give you some pamphlets on PTSD and the military.  They should help you until Dr. Ferguson releases him.  Before he goes home, I do want you to have an appointment scheduled for him so we can start our sessions.  Some sessions you and his family will be in, some sessions it will just be one-on-one with either him or you.  In order to help him, we have to train the family.  Train the family how to deal with the episodes and how to find the triggers and eliminate them as much as possible.“_ **

**_“His family is on the other side of the state so it’s hard for them to get back and forth.  Would our mutual friends be ok to bring in?  We all live near each other and have been taking turns sitting with him so he’s not left alone very long at a time.”_**    Zayn says packing up the pamphlets and pretending to glance through them.

**_“Sure, absolutely.  I would like for his parents to try to make a family session, if at all possible.  It will be important for Liam to see that he has everyone in his corner.”_ **

Zayn stands up and offers his hand, **_“Thank you ma’am for your help.  I’ll just go………… read these and make an appointment.”_**

 

 ** _“Don’t worry about him Zayn.  He will be just fine; we’ll move past this and he’ll be just fine.”_ **   She said patting him on the back.

 ** _“Thank you.”_ **   He said again and left the room.  For the first time in a few days, Zayn felt a calmness take over him; almost a sigh of relief, new found hope that Liam would really be ok.

He returned to the room and sighed in relief that Liam was still happily engrossed in a story with Niall and Harry was curled into his side.  Any other time, he may have been jealous of his friends laying in bed with his boyfriend, but now he was just happy that Liam was happy.  That was enough for him.

 

 


	7. The Morning After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nightmare! If you want the full nightmare, DM me and I'll send it. It turned out a little darker than I had anticipated, so I cut it from the chapter. I'm trying to keep this a light, fun story, but PTSD gets in the way

****

**_“Mr. Payne, how are you feeling this morning?”_ **  Dr. Ferguson asked as he picked up Liam’s chart off of the foot of the bed.  He opened up the silver cover and began reading notes from the previous night’s attending physician.

**_“Ok mostly.  I have an annoying headache tho.”_**  He scrunched up his eyes and forehead to give effect to his words.  His hand came to his temple and rubbed small massaging circles to help alleviate the pain.

**_“It’s probably a side effect from your Zoloft, very normal.  Would you like an Ibuprofen to help with that?”_ **

**_“Sure, Fergy, that would be great.”_**  Liam said as he lay down and snuggled into the pillow.

**_“OK, I’ll send a script down to the pharmacy,”_**  he paused. **_“ I see the boys aren’t here today.  How are you handling being on your own?”_**

**_“Oh, fine I think.  They’re recording a bit today so they had to head to the studio.  I wish I was there.  To be fair, Zayn’s called me about 30 times already, so they must miss me too.”_**  Liam said with a distant twinkle in his eye.  Dr. Ferguson knew he was thinking about being in the studio with his friends.  He wondered if Liam could sing as well as the group had said that he could.

**_“I’m sure that he does.  You’re lucky son, to have this many people in your court.  I’m glad to see you have such wonderful friends as a support system.”_ **   Dr. Ferguson closed the chart and returned it to the foot of the bed.

**_“Lay back for me so that I can listen to you.”_**  Dr. Ferguson placed the cold bell of the stethoscope to Liam’s chest and moved it around a few times. **_“Take a few deep breaths for me.”_**  He instructed as he continued moving the stethoscope’s bell around.   ** _“Good, now breathe normally for me.”_**  He moved the bell to Liam’s back and moved it around a few more times.  

_**“Good, you can relax.  Your lungs sound clear and your heart sounds normal.  Great signs.  I’m going to send down that prescription to the pharmacy and if you need anything else, just ring the nurse. She’ll find me.  I think we can release you tomorrow, if everything tonight goes as smoothly as the last 2 nights.”** _

**_“Sounds good.  Thanks Fergy.”_**  He sat up and readjusted his pillow and lay back down.

**_“Could I get some real food today?”_**  He laughed out as Dr. Ferguson had his hand on the door knob, ready to leave.

**_“Are you not loving your broth and Jell-O?”_**  Dr. Ferguson barked out as he was holding back his belly laugh.

**_“Can’t say that I am mate.  But to be fair, it IS good broth.”_ **  He was being half serious and half playful.

**_“Call the boys, and have them sneak in a burger or two.  If anyone asks, I know nothing and don’t condone burgers clogging my patients arteries.”_**  Dr. Ferguson said as he opened the door.   ** _“Enjoy the rest of your day Mr. Payne; I will see  you around 5:00 this evening.”_**  With that, he turned and walked out of room.

Liam reached over to the nightstand and grabbed his cell phone, which he knew wasn’t allowed to be on.  He hoped he could get a few texts in before the nurse came in to check his blood pressure.  Bloody nurse wouldn’t let him sleep last night and he still wasn’t happy about it.

_To: Zayn_

_Hey!  Fergy said you can sneak me a burger tonight!  You know what I like!_

It didn’t take long to hear the buzz of his phone, signalling he had a response.

_To: Liam_

_If we had any other dr, I wouldn’t believe that statement._

__

_To: Zayn_

_You think I’d fib about burgers?_

__

_To: Liam_

_yes, babe, I do_

__

_To: Zayn_

_IDK if I should be annoyed or amused_

__

_To: Liam_

_Def amused babe._

__

_To: Liam_

_What burger would  you like babe?_

__

_To: Zayn_

_Have Niall pick.  He has the best taste in food._

__

_To: Liam_

_Alright babe.  We’ll see you in a bit_

__

_To: Liam_

_I love you <3 <3_

__

_To Zayn_

_I love you too._

Liam smiled and returned his phone to the nightstand and lay back on his pillows.  He closed his eyes and began to think about the first time Zayn had said those 3 little words.

**_** memory **_ **

It was a week before his deployment and Zayn wanted to make a romantic meal for Liam; to show him how much he loved him and would miss him.  Zayn had pulled out all of the stops, 2 dozen red tipped white roses, white candles spread all over the kitchen and dining room, and a dinner that smelled so good, Liam’s mouth watered before he was fully in the house.

**_“Zayn, what is all of this?”_**  Liam whispered in disbelief at the beautiful sight.

 ** _“It’s for you babe.  I wanted to make you a romantic tea……”_ **  he paused. **_“Did I succeed?”_**

Liam lept into Zayn’s arms and exhaled _**“Yes”**_ into the other boy’s neck.

**_“Good babe. Good.”_**  Zayn was rubbing up and down Liam’s  back, pulling him closer into his embrace.

They stood there in each others arms and relished in the feeling of being alone and together.

Zayn pulled back first and rested his forehead against Liam’s.

**_“I love you.”_**  It was said so quietly, Liam wasn’t sure if he heard it or imagined it.  He leaned his head back so that he could look directly into Zayn’s eyes.  Without hesitation, he responded with **_“I love you too.”_**

**_***end memory***_ **

**_“Knock, knock.”_ **  Liam heard and turned his head towards to door, only to see a lively nurse come in with a small paper pill cup and a plastic cup of water.

**_“Dr. Ferguson said you asked for something for a headache, correct?”_**  She asked.

Liam nodded his head _“yes.”_  

**_“Ok, here is 600mg of Ibuprofen.  If you still have the headache in an hour or so, ring me.  He’s also left a prescription for another medication if this doesn’t help.”_ **

**_“Thank you ma’am.”_**  Liam said as he took the medication and drank the entire cup of water and handed the two cups back to the nurse.

**_“Good man.”_ **  She said and turned to leave.

When the door latched back into place, Liam sighed in relief.  He began to drift off into a fitful sleep.

**_*Dream*_ **

_**“Commander, we’re running out of ammo.”** _  Liam heard another soldier scream over the sound of the many rounds hitting their intended targets.  Bombs were going off in the distance and the sheer sound of large rounds of ammunition in the air was deafening to Liam’s ears.  He saw an explosion to his immediate left and was thrown slightly off balance by the shock wave it left in it’s wake.  He sits up; he’s having a hard time focusing on where he’s at with all the smoke and sand dancing in the air.

**_“To the Humvee.”_**    He heard his Commander order; he obeyed without hesitation.

He could see the dirt being disturbed as each bullet missed it’s mark and hit the ground; but he knew better than to be relieved.  For every one that missed, there was another that followed that could very well hit it’s mark.

_“Liam!”_  He heard Zayn scream.  

**_“Zayn!  Where are you?”_ **  He screamed looking around the war clad zone.  All he could see were his fellow soldiers and smoke from the ammunition being discharged.  The smoke was so thick, if it was further than 10 feet away, he couldn’t see it.

**_“Li!  Liam babe!  Wake up!”_** He heard Zayn scream again; but his voice was further away.  Frantically Liam searches for his boyfriend, failing at every turn.

**_“Zayn!  Where are you?? Zayn!  Talk to me!  Zayn!!”_**  Liam screamed as he sat up, awakening himself from the nightmare.

****  
  


He felt his heart beating madly and hard against his chest as he tried to fight off Zayn, who to him is an unrecognizable assailant.  Zayn continued speaking slowly and quietly to Liam as he held him in a tight hug.  Liam tried to land his fists a few times to no avail; he then began trying to push Zayn away.  He was breathing fast and heavy as he was fighting Zayn with all he had in him.

**_“Niall, call Fergy!”_**  Zayn ordered.  He turned back to Liam. **_“Babe, it’s ok, it’s me.”_ **  Zayn spoke softly and quietly.   ** _“It’s me babe, Zayn.”_**

**_“You’re not Zayn, Zayn’s dead.  He was there, he was there and I couldn’t find him.  He screamed for me, but I couldn’t get to him.”_**  Liam sobbed turning into Zayn’s arms.

**_“No, babe, I wasn’t there.  I’m here.  Look at me Li,  you’ll see that I’m telling the truth.”_ **  Zayn begged.

Liam started shaking his head   _“no.”_

**_“Mate, look at me.”_ **  Louis tried. **_“Zayn’s holding you.  You’re safe, Zayn’s safe. Come on mate, look up.”_**

Liam took a deep breath and looked up.   _ **“Zayn?”** _  He barely whispered in disbelief.

 ** _“Yeah, babe, it’s me.”_**  Zayn whispered through his heart ache.  Zayn ran his fingers over Liam’s hair and down his cheek; his fingers rubbing softly into Liam’s skin.

Dr. Ferguson and Niall came bursting through the doors, startling Liam once again.

**_“No!  Don’t take him!”_ **  Liam screamed grabbing tight onto Zayn when he stood up to let the doctor examine the frightened boy.

**_“It’s ok babe.  Fergy is here and he needs to look at you.  Ok?”_ **  Zayn nodded to Liam as he felt him start to relax a little bit.

Dr, Ferguson checked his pupils, blood pressure, and pulse.  Once he deemed Liam calm, he grabbed his chart and started documenting what happened.  When he finished his documentation, he returned the chart to the foot of Liam’s bed and addressed the boys.

**_“I believe this was just a nightmare, it happens to everyone.  His body shows no clear signs of stress, his pulse wasn’t too fast, his blood pressure was good, his breathing is back to normal.  I think that he was woken so suddenly, that his mind didn’t have time to process that his body was awake.  He’s ok now I believe, he seems calm to me.”_**  Dr. Ferguson looked to Liam and back to the boys.    ** _“I’m very proud of the way you boys handled this and talked him down.  He’s very lucky to have such great friends who are dedicated to his recovery.”_**  Dr. Ferguson smiled at the 3 boys.   ** _“We’re missing one I see.”_**  He smiled as he looked around the room. **_“He wouldn’t be bringing in that burger I may or may not have given permission for Mr. Payne to have is he?”_**

Zayn slid the paper bag that he dropped, when he realized Liam was having a nightmare, under Liam’s bed with his foot.  This act wasn’t lost on Dr. Ferguson.

**_“No, sir.  He’s just parking the car.”_**  Louis said with a gulp.

**_“Fine, fine.  Just keep it out of sight from the nurses.  Call me if you need me.”_ **

He looked to Liam.   _ **“Would you like a sedative to help you sleep tonight?”**_

**_“No, sir.  I’m afraid I won’t wake up if I have another nightmare.”_**  Liam said as he grabbed onto Zayn’s arm for dear life.

**_“I’m not going to make you take one, but I believe that it would be a good idea.  There’s no shame in asking for help, Mr. Payne.   If you do decide that you want or need it, I will have it waiting at the nurse’s station and ready for  you.  Good job boys, have a good evening.”_** and he walked through the door.

**_“You scared me, Li.”_**  Zayn quietly whispered as he sat down between Liam and the side of the bed; one foot on the bed and one foot off of the bed. He wrapped his still trembling arms around Liam’s shoulders as he nuzzled his nose into the crook of Liam’s neck.

**_“You scared me too, Zayn.”_**  Liam said with tears still in his eyes and grabbed Zayn tighter in the embrace.

**_“I’m sorry.”_**  They both said in unison and began to laugh.  Both still with small tears in their eyes.  Zayn released Liam and reached under the bed and grabbed the bag.

**_“Here are your burgers.”_ **  Zayn said as he lifted the paper bag from the floor and opened it.  Zayn shook the thoughts away from his head and smiled when Liam inhaled the smell of the warm burgers.

**_“Chilli cheese with extra bacon as you commanded my lord.”_**  he gave a mock bow, which made the entire room laugh.

**_“Thanks Zayn.  Love you.”_ **  He said as he took a big bite of his burger.   

**_“Mmmmmmmmmmmm”_ **  He let out.   ** _“Love you too, Niall, for picking out the best burgers.”_ **  and took another bite.

Harry came through the room carrying another bag.   ** _“What?  You didn’t think we’d forget the curly fries did you?”_ **  He offered Liam the bag with a smile.

**_“I love you too, Harry!”_ **  Liam said as he greedily grabbed the bag and began eating the long curly yellow sticks of potatoes.

**_“Well, now I feel left out.”_**  Louis mock pouted and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

**_“I love you too, Lou.”_ **  Liam said with a mouthful of burger and fries.

**_“Gross mate!  Just gross.”_**  Louis responded exasperated.

Zayn smiled looking at his friends and at the man laying in the bed and knew that no matter what life threw at them, they would survive it together, as friends.

 

 


	8. The release

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liam is released.
> 
> Louis starts to feel the pressure that comes with coming out in front of the nation.
> 
> I'm not sure how cannon this chapter is, I tried to make it fun but serious at the same time. Hopefully, I succeeded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you for leaving comments and kudos.

**_“Li.”_ **  Zayn moans as his hips snap forward and then back again; trying to feel as much friction as possible.

 ** _“Zaaaaayyyyynnnn.”_**  Liam moans around Zayn’s lips; flicking his tongue across the darker boy’s bottom lip.

They aren’t sure how they found themselves in an episode of frottage, but they have.  Fully clothed, Zayn is laying on top of Liam thrusting his, now fully erect, penis across Liam’s throbbing member.  Both needing more but not able to comply, considering Liam is still in his hospital bed, hooked up to machines.

 ** _“God Li, you’re so beautiful like this; so expressive while you’re underneath me.  How did I get so lucky?”_**  Zayn questions as he speeds up his thrusting; giving both boys the friction they so desperately need.   He leaned forward onto his forearms and circled Liam in a cocoon of Zayn.  His intoxicating smell almost drove the boy over the edge.

Too busy wrapped up in the feelings, they didn’t hear the door open and the surprised gasp from Harry and the snicker from Louis.

 ** _“Well, well, well boys.  Is sex in hospital as much fun as it looks like it would be?”_**  Louis quipped and laughed as Zayn quickly jumped off of the bed, hopping a bit as his foot tangled in the sheet.  He turned towards to wall to hide his obvious problem. He was taking slow deep breaths, trying to get his situation under control;  his hands flexing open and closed, trying to slow the urge to deck Louis down.

 ** _“Knock next time, mates.”_ **  Liam said with a rose colored blush creeping all the way up to his ears.  He was looking everywhere except at the boys, which made Louis smile.  he pulled the blanket up over his lap and began smoothing out non-exisant wrinkles.

 ** _“You’re cute when you blush.”_ **  Niall says when he finally comes through the door.   ** _“Did I miss the party?”_**

 

A room full of laughs were heard.  

Dr. Ferguson entered into the room.   ** _“Hi boys, Mr. Payne.  Are you feeling well, Mr. Payne?  Your heart monitor was beating off the charts a few moments ago.”_**

 

The boys could now see Zayn flush as he turned around. **_“Uhhh…. yeah that was my fault….. you see it’s….. ummm……”_**

 

 ** _“They were dry humping like rabbits when we came in Fergy!”_ **  Niall supplied, earning him 4 death stares.   ** _“What?  I didn’t see it, but judging by everyone’s reactions, they were caught in the act.  Am I not right, lads?”_**  Niall said with a crooked smirk on his face.

 ** _“Fine, fine, just try to wait until you get home before you resume your normal everyday…..activities.”_**  Dr. Ferguson replied.   ** _“I’ll give you a few moments to get yourselves……. under control and then I’m going to check you over.  If you’re doing alright physically, we’ll release you tonight.  Sound good?”_**

 

Five _“yeses”_  were heard from the group.   ** _“Good.  Be back in a few minutes.”_**  He turned and walked out of the room.

 ** _“Well, there’s a first, mate.”_**  Louis smirked.   

 ** _"I've never been so embarrassed!"_**  Liam said dropping his head into his hands with a groan.

 ** _"It's OK babe."_**  Zayn said peppering soft kisses onto Liam's forehead.   ** _"You get to come home in a little bit. Focus on that amazing news. Alright?"_**  Zayn said in a low voice.

 ** _"Yeah, you're right."_**  Liam smiled and slowly released the breath he didn’t know he was holding.   ** _"I'm ready to go back to my normal life."_** Liam leaned forward to capture Zayn in a rough kiss.

 ** _"Well, boys, looks like he's doing much better. Mr. Malik, if you would release him for a moment, so that I can check him out, I will send him home to you."_ **  Dr. Ferguson said as he walked back into the room.  

 ** _"Sure doc! To be fair, I am entirely ready to go home."_**  Liam said bouncing up and down in his bed.

 ** _“I’m sure you are Mr. Payne.  Let’s go through a few questions.  Are you comfortable with everyone staying or would you rather they move into the hallway?”_**  Dr. Ferguson asked.

 ** _“I’m cool with them in here Fergy.  But if something gets personal, I may ask them to leave.  Is that ok guys?”_**  Liam asked looking at Zayn for reassurance.

Zayn leans in for a small peck on Liam’s nose, **_“Perfectly.”_**

 

 ** _“Any other nightmares?”_**  Liam shook his head.

 ** _“Any chest pains?”_**  Liam shook his head.

 ** _“Any trouble breathing, tightness in your chest, or heart palpitations?”_**  Liam shook his head.

 ** _“Do you want to harm yourself or anyone else in this room?”_**  Liam shook his head with wide saucer eyes. **_“No, I’d never………..”_** Zayn, sensing Liam's anxiety level rising, grabbed Liam's hand and gave it a squeeze.   ** _"It's routine babe.  Just breathe."_**  Liam nodded and turned his attention back to Fergy.

 ** _“Do you feel like the room is getting smaller, or there’s not enough air to breathe?”_ **  Liam shook his head with a gulp.

 ** _“What year is it?”_ **  Liam looked to Zayn questioning the out of place question that was just thrown in.   ** _“2014.”_** He answered quietly.

_**“What is your full name?”** _

_**“Liam James Payne.”** _

Dr. Ferguson began the physical exam, making sure his lungs were clear and his blood pressure wasn’t too high.

**_“Ok, Mr. Malik, have you scheduled a consultation with Dr. Macy for Mr. Payne?”_ **

**_“Yes sir, I have it scheduled for Friday.”_ **

**_“Ok, Mr. Payne, I’m going to go write up your release forms.  You may go home.  Mr. Malik, call immediately if he has another episode.  Have a great evening boys.”_ **

Dr. Ferguson left and Zayn latched onto Liam with a huge huge hug; small tears threatening to fall from his eyes.

 ** _“I’m so happy Li.  You’re coming home.”_ **   He pulled back and kissed Liam full on the lips.

**_“Me too Zayne, me too.”_ **

****

**_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The next day~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_ **

****

**_“Zayn, please stop babying me!”_**  Liam shouted over the breakfast table.   ** _“I appreciate you wanting to take care of me, but enough is enough.  To be fair, I have spent 6 months in combat.  I can handle pulling out my chair.”_**  He huffed as he was finally able to be free from Zayn’s clutches.  “ _ **You’re like a mother hen, you are.”**_

Zayn took a deep breath; trying to hold back his tears.   ** _“I’m sorry babe.  I’m just worried about you.”_ **  He whispered.

 ** _“Has anyone ever told you that worrying too much can give you grey hairs?  We wouldn’t want your quiff grey before it’s time would we?”_**  Liam teased while ruffling his quiff.

Zayn scoffed, which earned a laugh from Liam.   _ **“I love you Zayn.  Never doubt that.  I appreciate what you’re doing; but really babe, I’m fine.”**_

 

 ** _“Love you too babe.”_ **  Zayn said as he put a fork full of pancakes in his mouth.  He motioned with the utensil to Liam’s plate, **_“Now eat!”_**  He ordered and Liam laughed as he poured the sticky brown syrup over the fluffiest pancakes he’d ever seen.  

They were finishing up, just taking the last sip of their orange juice, when he heard a knock on the door.  Then it opened and the group of 3 boys came bounding in the house.   _ **“Marco!!”**_  He yelled, earning a **_“Pollo!!”_**  from Liam in response.

 ** _“Have you seen this mate?”_**  Louis said disgustingly as he threw the newspaper onto Zayn’s lap.

He picked it up and searched the page when he found the “offending” article

 

 

**_NEWS:  One Direction Bandmates are more than Mates!  Larry Stylinson is Real!_ **

_Seems like the members of the boyband “One Direction” have a few secrets lying around in their closets.  Namely, Louis Tomlinson and Harry Styles._

_The duo came out on national acclaimed radio station, Kiss FM on Monday.  Who knew that the boys were more than friends??_

_~~~~ Insert image of Harry and Louis from the interview staring at each other~~~~_

_Looks like they have been in a relationship for a bit, per Louis Tomlinson._

_No further details were given except that the fans “Continue to love and support” them._

_We’re happy for the duo and wish them a successful career."_

 

 

 

 _ **Lou, it’s a gossip rag!**_ ”  Zayn said as he tossed it back.   ** _“And besides, it could have been worse?!”_ **  He said with a question.  

 ** _“How?”_** Louis asked as he rolled his eyes.

 ** _“It could have been rude.  This one was short and kind of sweet.”_**  Zayn supplied with a small shrug of his shoulders.

 _ **“But people are talking about us, like we don’t matter!”** _  Louis shot back.  

Niall took over, _**“Mate, no one is saying you or your relationship doesn’t matter.  They’re all genuinely happy for you, or that’s what it looks like to me.“**_

 

 ** _“The way I see it mate, you can do 1 of 2 things.  One, you can be happy that you’re finally out there as a couple and hold your heads high when you’re together.”_** Liam started.

 ** _“Or?”_** Louis asked.

 ** _“Or, you can be ashamed and let that feeling ruin that special thing that you guys have.  Choice is yours mate; but personally, I’d say hold your head high and be proud you’re with the man of your dreams.”_ **  He finished seriously as he gazed over to Zayn, making sure Zayn understood that he was talking about them as well.

 ** _“Thanks Liam.”_ **  Harry said quietly, as he snuggled down beside of Louis; wrapping his arms around Louis’ waist and nuzzling his nose into the side of his neck.   ** _“He needed to hear that.”_**

 

Louis sighed, ** _“Yeah, yeah I did.”_ **  He leaned over and kissed Harry’s curls, tangling his fingers in the loose strands. **_“I love you Hazza.  I just didn’t want these papers to scare you away.”_**   He quietly admitted, turning his gaze to his fidgety hands.

Harry reached up and turned Louis’ face back to his; making eye contact with his boyfriend.   ** _“Never Lou, never.  Love you too much to let anyone keep us apart anymore.  I was ready for all of the this when I told them I was with you.”_**  They kissed slowly this time, trying to convey their emotions and feeling for each other.  This time, they both had smiles on their faces when they parted. _**“No going back love?”** _  Louis whispered.   ** _“No going back.”_**  Harry agreed.

“ ** _I can’t believe it!  I’m a 5th wheel!”_ **  Niall said throwing his arms up in the air exasperated.

The group of boys laughed; for the first time in almost a week, they were all content.  

 

 


	9. The Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liam and Zayn have their first meeting with the Psychologist.
> 
> Zayn gets on Liam's nerves.
> 
> This is a filler chapter, just to give you an insight to the therapy sessions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no beta, so if this has errors, I apologize!

**_“Good morning, I have a 9:15 appointment with Dr. Macy.  I’m Liam Payne.”_**  Liam shuffled his feet nervously as he was talking to the receptionist.

 ** _“Sure, Mr. Payne.”_**  She says as she picks up a clipboard and some shuffles some forms for him.   ** _“I just need you to fill out these forms for me; and I’ll need a copy of your insurance and a photo ID please.”_**

Liam nodded as he handed the clipboard to Zayn and fumbled through his tattered leather wallet.  When he found the correct cards, he handed them to the receptionist and sat down to start on the forms.

Zayn had a  hand on his bicep the entire time; Liam wasn’t sure if it was for his benefit ot Zayn’s, but he didn’t refuse it.  Truth be told, it grounded his nerves a bit.

He  finished the forms, and handed the clipboard back to the receptionist.  He muttered a quiet, ** _“Thank you.”_ **  when she handed him his insurance card and Military ID back.

He sat and waited. Patience had never been a virtue he possessed and today was no exception.  He hummed a tune while drumming on his knees, which earned him many angry stares.  A quiet ** _“Sorry.”_   **was added when he realized it wasn’t appreciated.

 ** _"Just relax babe.”_**  Zayn said rubbing the side of Liam’s face with his hand.   ** _“You’ll be fine, I promise.”_**  A quick peck on the temple and Liam relaxed a bit.

 ** _“Liam Payne?”_ **  The nurse called.  

Liam took a deep breath, pinched the bridge of his nose for a moment, and stood up to head to the small room.   ** _“Will you come with me?”_**  He whispered as he passed Zayn.   ** _“If it helps you, I will.”_**  Zayn said standing and taking Liam’s hand.  

They walk in silence to the office-type room, and have a seat, as instructed, on the oversized comfy brown couch.  Zayn reaches over and grabs Liam’s hand and brings it to his lips, for a quick peck and settles it against his chest; and that’s how Dr. Macy found them.

 ** _“Mr. Payne?”_**  She asks and Liam stands to shake her hand.

 ** _“Yes ma’am.  Please call me Liam.”_**  He says as he returns his hand to Zayn’s and unconsciously slides a little closer to  his supportive boyfriend.  

She gives him a nod.   _ **“Liam it is.”**_  She turns her attention to Zayn, **_“Zayn, lovely to see you again.  Thank you for coming in with him.  Our first session would do better with a little support for you and from you_**. ** _”_**  She says to Zayn.  She sits an pulls out Liam's folder.  Fumbling through the pages for a moment and looks up to address Liam first.

 ** _“Now, Liam, how have you been since you were released on Wednesday?”_ **  Liam sighs in relief because this was an easy question.  He wasn’t looking forward to the hard questions.

 ** _“Ok, I think ma’am.  Zayn has babied me since I came home tho.”_ **  He laughs a little.   _ **“I reckon I’ve been a little moody tho, right?”**_  he nudges Zayn with his shoulder.  

 ** _“Only a little.”_**  Zayn says around a smile.

**_“Nothing that you can’t handle, correct?”_ **

**_“No, no, ma’am.  He’s just a little moody, that’s all.  Snapped a little at me yesterday when I tried to pull his chair out for him at breakfast.  He knew I was just trying to help, and apologized as soon as he did it.  I think he’s a little frustrated at the moment.”_**  Zayn supplied, giving Liam’s hand a tight squeeze.

 ** _“Right.  I just want to go back to loving you.  That’s all I’ve ever wanted to do Zayn.”_**  Liam whispered with a small tear rolling down his cheek.

 ** _“And that’s all I want Li.  To love you and take care of you.”_ **  Zayn choked out, trying to hold back his tears himself.

 ** _“Sounds like you two have a good line of communication going, that’s a good thing Liam.”_**  Dr. Macy said, snapping them out of their own little world and back to reality.

 _ **“Yes ma’am, we do.”**_  Liam said smiling at Zayn.  He felt a huge weight lift off of his chest; knowing he and Zayn were on the same page, and truly loved each other made him happier than he could remember ever being.

 ** _“Any more nightmares?”_ **  She asked.

Liam gripped Zayn’s hand tighter and shook his head, signalling that he hasn’t.

**_“Good.  Boys, I would like for you both to start journaling.  Write about your day, write about your dog, just write your feelings down and get them off of your chest.  Zayn, it’s hard being the significant other in situations like these.  You see that your best friend is hurting and you’re powerless to help them.  You need to get your feelings out; this is your battle too.”_ **

Zayn smiled and nodded his head.

**_“Liam, I want you to write down your fears, when you feel scared, what you fear losing, etcetera etcetera.  Nothing you write will be discussed and won’t see my eyes, unless you want it to; but I think letting out your fears will be beneficial for you.  Okay?”_ **

**_“Yes ma’am.”_ **  He replied, bringing Zayn and his clasped hand to rest in his lap.

**_“How do you feel about your dosage of Zoloft?  Are you feeling manageable on this dosage?”_ **

_**“I feel ok, I think.”** _  Liam said scrunching up his nose to think about it.

**_“Ok, good.  If you need to go up on the dose, we still have some wiggle room.  There’s no shame in asking if you need help.  Understand?”_ **

**_“Yes, ma’am.”_**  Liam whispered.

 ** _“Good, I think that’s all I needed for today.  I want to see you every Monday and Friday for the next couple of weeks.  We’ll start some therapies and talk about triggers this coming up Monday.  Today was just a follow up to  your previous hospital stay.”_**  She turns to Zayn,   ** _“ If he has an episode call me here and I can walk you through it.  We don’t want him  back in the hospital unless it’s necessary.  Any questions?”_ **  She pulls her business card from her desk drawer and hands it to Zayn.

 ** _“Can we……….. I mean is it ok………… um…… how physical can we be?”_**  Zayn asked in a few octaves higher than his natural voice; a little embarrassed about asking if he could make love to Liam.

 ** _“IF you’re asking about having sex, I’m assuming that’s what you were asking?”_**  Seeing Zayn and Liam’s nod, she continued, ** _“Sex is a very important part of a relationship.  I have had some patients use sex to comfort their significant other and that has worked.  Others who have tried have had negative results.  If you’re both comfortable enough to try, you may.  But Zayn, if Liam shows any signs, ANY signs of discomfort, you must immediately stop.  Understood?”_**

 ** _“Yes ma’am. I would never do anything he wasn’t comfortable with.”_** Zayn said, ** _“I just miss being with him, and being surrounded by him.”_**  He said looking directly at Liam with such softness in his eyes.

 ** _“Good, Monday we’re going to start therapy, I would like to have your friends and family present on this first appointment if possible.  Bring them all.  This is going to be a team effort.”_**  Both boys nodded.

 ** _“Ok, guys, I’ll see you then.  Have a great weekend.”_**  She said as the boys stood.

 ** _"Thanks.”_**  Liam said as he smoothed out the wrinkles on his pants.  

  
**_“See you Monday.”_**  Zayn said grabbing Liam’s hand and led him through the door and out to the car.

Once at the car, Zayn pulls Liam into a bone crushing hug; he whispered how proud of Liam he was and kissed the side of his neck.

 ** _"I love you."_**  Liam said as tears were welling up in his eyes.

**_"I love you too babe.  We'll be alright; we'll get through this, together."_ **


	10. Uh oh!  We're late!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I used a few lyrics from “I’ll Be There” by the Jackson 5, no copyright infringement intended. I get no $$$$$ for this story, just PURE love of writing. I’m going to rate this a PG-13 for sexual content. Not explicit, but you know it’s there. Explicit will come in the next chapter, but hopefully worth your wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t have a beta, so if there are any mistakes, they’re purely mine.

Monday, after their appointment with Dr. Macy, the group of boys were exhausted, hopeful, but exhausted.  She dove right in to their personal and private lives and had ideas to fix them, piece by piece.  She gave them ideas to bring Liam out of his episodes and back to reality.  She gave them tools to use during nightmares.  Mostly, she gave them reassurance that even when things seemed dark and dreary, they would all come out on top; better and stronger than they were before.

Liam and Zayn were now the picture of domesticity.  They had only had one week together, since Liam got back, and already they had created a comfortable routine. Zayn would cook, Liam would prepare the table. Zayn would load the dishwasher, Liam would wipe down the table and counters. Zayn would peck him on the cheek, Liam would grab him and go in for more. It was perfect; but Zayn couldn't help but to wonder how long until the floor fell out from under his perfect little world.

 ** _"Li, we have to head in to the studio today to run a backtrack. Do you want to lend your beautiful pipes for this track?  The name is “_** _Up All  Night.”_ ** _I think you’d enjoy it."_ **  Zayn asked. Batting his long eyelashes.   ** _“Believe it or not, Lou wrote it with Harry in mind.”_**

 ** _"Are you sure the boys are alright with that?  I mean on a song that has such a meaning to the boys?"_ **  He asked before stuffing a huge bite of syrupy waffle in his mouth.

 ** _"No, babe! You know they keep asking when you're going to join the band. You know they all…We all would love for you to join us. In any capacity you're comfortable with."_** Zayn leans across the table and pecks Liam lightly on the nose, **_"And it would be really nice to have you on tour with me. Barring we follow Dr. Macy's treatments and get her permission."_**

 ** _"Just when I think you're going to zig, you throw me a zag."_**  Liam says with small tears welling up in his eyes. He reaches across the table, tangling his fingers up in Zayn’s much smaller ones. ** _"You just make me so happy Zayn. If the lads and Dr. Macy agree, a team of wild horses couldn't keep me off the road with you."_**

Zayn visibly relaxes as he stands to walk around the table. He leans in and frames Liam's face with both of his hands. He leans in and places a small whisky kiss on Liam's left eye **_"I,"_** he switches to leave a small kiss on Liam's right eye, **_"am,"_** he kisses Liam's forehead, **_"so, so, so"_** he finally lands on Liam's soft parted lips **_"in love with you."_**   It’s whispered out with so much love and adoration; Liam thinks his heart is going to beat out of his chest.

Liam breathed a few deep, steady breaths,   ** _“I love you too, Zayn.”_ **  He wraps his arms around Zayn’s waist and burrows his nose into the crook of the taller boy’s neck.   ** _“More than you could ever imagine.”_ **  Liam inhaled the musty mixture of soap and cigarettes and smiled.  

**_“I love everything about you, everything from the sound of your voice to your smell; you take my breath away.”_ **

Liam rested his forehead against Zayn’s, **_“Do we have time…………?”_**  Liam whispered to Zayn, their lips just millimeters apart.

**_"For you babe? I always have time."_ **

Zayne slowly led Liam towards their bedroom, making sure to never lose contact with him. Once they reached their room, Zayn backed Liam towards the bed and gently sat him on the edge.

 ** _"Are you sure babe?"_** Zayn asks as he caresses the side of Liam's face; trailing his finger up and down his jaw line.  He rests his forehead against Liam's and waits for his answer.

 ** _"I've never been so sure of anything in my life, Zayn; I just need to feel you around me, in me, making me feel safe and wanted."_** Liam kissed Zayn on his impossibly high cheek bone and lay back onto the bed.

 ** _"You will always be safe with me, and I will always want you."_**  Zayn said as he sat down on the bed. 

Zayn crawled up Liam’s torso and sprayed feather light kisses along his neck as he helped Liam remove his shirt. Zayn ran his hands up and down Liam’s torso, revelling how fit his body was; he leaned down and planted the softest kiss to the crook of Liam’s neck, earning a primal growl from the other man.

Liam ran his hands up Zayn’s back, bringing his shirt up and over his head in the process.  He reached down, his hands a little more hurried, and began unbuckling Zayn’s belt.  The two of them, working in silent unison, became impatient with the clothing restricting their touches, so they furiously began removing what was left of the offending fabric.

Zayn slowly lays Liam down onto his back and lowers his body onto the hot awaiting skin of Liam.  He rests his weight on his forearms and begins leaving small trails of kisses down Liam’s neck, eventually reaching his pink nipples.

 ** _“God Zayn,”_ **  Liam moans as Zayn begins rolling his tongue over his sensitive buds.   ** _“That’s amazing.”_ **  He tangles his hands in Zayn’s midnight colored locks and arches his back to encourage more play, more friction.

Zayn smiles and begins kissing back up Liam’s chest and around his neck, until he reaches his destination; Liam’s earlobe. His breathing is soft and hot against the other boy’s ear and he shudders at the feeling.  He leans back a bit to breathe against Liam’s  neck, and every nerve in his body is on fire.

 ** _“Are you ok, babe?”_**  Zayn asked, leaning down, pressing his forehead to Liam’s.

 ** _“Never better.”_ **  Liam said, reaching up and capturing Zayn’s lips into a searing hot kiss.

Zayn broke the kiss first and whispered, **_“You take my breath away.”_**

 ** _“I love you.”_**   Liam said, **_“Make love to me, please Zayn.  Go slow so I can feel you around me.”_**

Zayn entered Liam and began at a slow pace; needing to convey the love and emotions that he felt for the other boy.  Liam felt like he was safe, like he was surrounded by love and security and small tears began to stream down his face.

Zayn understood the tears were a good thing, and kissed them away as he made love to the only person he had ever loved.

When they both orgasm and came down from their high, Liam whispered, **_“I love you.”_**

 ** _"We’re healing babe; we’re healing.”_**  He leaned in for another kiss, **_“I love you too Li, so so much.”_ **  

Zayn, overcome with emotions as well, began singing to Liam.

 

_I’ll be there to comfort you,_

_build my world of dreams around you,_

_I’m so glad that I found you._

_I’ll be your strength, I’ll keep holding on._

_Let me fill your heart with joy and laughter._

_Togetherness, well that’s all I’m after_

_whenever you need me, I’ll be there_

_I’ll be there to protect you,_

_with an unselfish love, I respect you._

_Just call my name, and I’ll be there._

Zayn heard Liam’s breath become slower and even out.  He smiled to himself, knowing that Liam trusted him enough to fall asleep; trusting him to protect him while he rested.  He was so in love and nothing would ever take that away from them; not this disease, not the military, not a single person would ever make Zayn fall out of love with Liam.  He placed a small kiss to Liam’s temple and snuggled in with him, eventually finding slumber as well.

  
Zayn was awakened by the buzzing of his cell phone.  He reached over to grab it from the nightstand and his eyes bugged out, realizing the time.   ** _“Crap!  Li, get up!”_ **  He exclaimed as he shot out of bed; hopping up and down trying to pull his pants up.

**_“Li!! Leeyum! Get up babe!  We’re late to the studio!”_ **

Liam mumbled something intelligible and shot out of bed when Zayn ripped the warmth of his blankets were pulled off.

 ** _“Get dressed babe!”_ **  Zayn had already pulled his tee and leather jacket on, and was looking for his beanie hat to cover his bed head.  

Zayn’s phone goes off again; he picks it up, **_“Yeah, mate.  We’re on our way……. yeah, sorry mate…… sure, sure…………. ok mate, bye!”_**

He looked to Liam, _**“We have 15 minutes before the boys leave, we’re so late babe.”**_

Liam was completely dressed and walked over to Zayn; he situated Zayn’s beanie as it was lopsided and grabbed a hold to Zayn’s leather collars on his jacket.   ** _“You’re cute when you’re flustered.”_ **  And he pulled Zayn into a small kiss, **_“Love you, let’s go.”_**

The 10 minute cab ride to the studio was the longest trip of Zayn’s life; it was very quiet and awkwardness sparked the air.

 ** _“Sorry we’re late mate, we fell asleep.”_ **  Zayn said a little flustered.

 ** _“No prob guys, let’s just start from the top.”_ **  Harry said and ushered the boys into the booth.

 ** _“What one are we starting with?”_**  Liam asked, _**“And what am I supposed to sing?”**_

 ** _“Back up babe, and these verses right here.”_**  Zayn said, handing Liam a copy of the song.

 _“Up All Night?”_  Liam said and frowned, “ _ **Sounds interesting enough.”**_

 ** _“It is, we weren’t able to write much on this album, but Harry co-wrote this one.  I like it well enough.”_**  Louis said smiling in Harry’s direction.

 ** _“Do you want to ring the cowbell babe?”_**  Zayn asked.

 ** _“Cowbell?  Really?  This song  has a cowbell?”_**  Liam said a little excited about the prospect of banging the cowbell.

**_“Not this one mate, another one off the album called, ‘_** _What makes you Beautiful,'_ ** _we hope to get to today.  It’s one of my favorites.”_**  Louis said

 

 ** _“Wait, stop.”_ **  Liam said.   ** _“You forgot to mention I was starting off the song?  Are you sure you want me to do that?”_**  Liam said, rosy pink color staining his cheeks.

Zayn kisses him softly, **_“We’re sure babe.  You can do this.  Remember what Dr. Macy said, breathe and repeat that you’re amazing and worth it.  Come on love, you’re amazing and we love you.  You can do this.”_**

Liam, holding back tears, **_“Ok love, I’ll try.”_**

Zayn pecks his nose, _**“That’s all we can ask babe, that’s all we can ask.”**_

**_“Ok, from the top, in…….3……...2……….1…...go.”_ **

  
  


**_`````````````` LATER THAT EVENING````````````````_ **

  
**_“You were great babe!  We finished an hour earlier because of you!”_**  Zayn said as he closed the front door, tossing his keys onto the side table.  He turned to look at Liam, **_“I really would like for you to think about joining the band babe.  Instead of “featuring Liam Payne”  I’d like the albums to say “Introducing Liam Payne”_**  Zayn said wrapping his arms around Liam’s waist.   ** _“_ _My sexy boyfriend.”_**   Zayn said pecking Liam on the nose, **_“Sexy”_   **kiss, _**“Gorgeous”**_   kiss, ** _“Amazing”_** kiss, **_“Boyfriend.”_**  And Zayn kissed Liam for all he was worth.

Zayn starts walking Liam towards the kitchen, without separating their lips, when he hears, **_“Marco!!!”_ **  being yelled from the doorway.

The boys lips finally separate and Zayn rests his forehead against Liam’s, _**“Well, we had longer than I expected to have.  Let’s go make dinner babe.”**_

 ** _“Polo!!”_**  He yells and sees Niall come walking in with a bottle of Chardonnay.

 ** _“Chicken or beef for tea?”_**  He asks.

 ** _“Let’s go with chicken._** ”  Zayn said, Liam nods and begins making dinner.  

He smiles to himself, thinking about how lucky he is.  Him and Zayn work together in silence, preparing the meal for the group and he’s happy.  He’s really, genuinely happy.

Niall sets the table, Louis and  Harry finally make it to the kitchen, carrying a basket of bread and a salad.

The group eat in silence, content with the events of the day and the amount of work Liam did on the song.  They were all impressed and excited about releasing it with Liam’s name on it.  For the first time in a long time, they all knew they were going to be ok.


	11. Is it love?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smut, smut, and more smut. That's all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't have a beta reader, so it's all me and my little mistakes. I hope I did this scene justice.
> 
> I hope you've enjoyed it up until this point.

The next morning, Liam was the first to rise; with an idea in his head; he rose quickly and began to put his plan into motion.

Quietly, as to not wake Zayn, he padded into the kitchen and began mixing eggs and flour together and poured the batter into the frying pan.  While he was waiting for the pancakes to be ready to flip, he pulled out a second pan and cracked some eggs.  Going back and forth between the two pans, he made breakfast for both of them.  

He stacked the bowls onto the tray when he finished; and was slightly startled when he heard a loud yawn coming from the doorway.  He sighed and turned to meet the sound, **_“It’s hard to surprise you with breakfast in bed,”_** he said motioning to the tray, **_“When you’re not……...in bed.”_**   Zayn smiled, **_“Sorry babe, I should head back up then?”_**  He Shrugged, walking closer to Liam; encircling his arms around Liam’s waist and placing small, lazy kisses down his neck.

Liam sighs in contentment and responds by giving Zayn a peck on the lips, **_“No,  you’re already up.  Pull up a chair and we’ll eat here at the table.”_**

 ** _“Thanks babe, it looks delish.”_ **  Zayn says as he grabs two forks and sits down at the table.

Zayn tears into the eggs and moans in silent appreciation for the warm breakfast his beautiful boyfriend has made for him.

 ** _“Want to watch a movie?”_ **  Liam asked around sticky lips, unsure of any plans Zayn had for the day.

 ** _“Sure babe, I cleared the day with the boys so that I could spend it with you.  What movie did you want to see?”_ **  Zayn said, standing to put his dishes in the sink.

 ** _“Can we watch a DVD and stay in?”_ **  Liam asks as he scrapes the rest of his food into the trashcan and places his dishes in the sink.

 ** _“Sure, go grab one and I’ll finish up here.”_**  He motioned to the sink and smiled.

 ** _“Ok, I’ll set the tv up in our room and we’ll snuggle up. Sound good?”_ **  Liam asks.

 ** _“Sounds good babe.”_**  He turns on the water and begins to wash the dirty dishes from the morning’s breakfast, silently humming to himself.  Liam smiles and bounds up the stairs, taking two at a time; in a hurry to have everything perfect for Zayn.

When Zayn finally enters the bedroom; he stops straight in his tracks.  Liam had lit about 10 long white candles and placed them around the room, he had sprinkled rose petals around the bed and on the comforter, he had soft music playing in the background, and he was laying, naked, on the bed, waiting for Zayn to come in.

Zayn gulped, **_“If you wanted sex babe, all you had to do was ask.”_ **  He walked further into the room, ** _“But this is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen Li, thank you for the surprise.”_**  He finally reached the edge of the bed and leaned down to kiss Liam.

**_“I don’t want to have sex, Zayn, I want to make love to you.  I want to reconnect ourselves, I want you close to me, and I want to be close to you.  I love you and I want to show you.”_ **

Zayn nods and begins taking off his pajamas, never losing eye contact with Liam.   ** _“I love you too, Li.  So much, I don’t think I can express how much I love you.”_**   He leaned in and kissed Liam softly on his forehead.  Liam lays down and Zayn lies slowly on top of him.  

Liam takes a shaky breath, **_“I feel the same way, love.  You’re my soul mate, my other half, the extension of myself.”_**  LIam reaches up and runs his hands up and down Zayn’s darker arms, feeling the soft satiny skin below his fingertips; he  pulls him in for a slow kiss.  Zayn responds with full vigor as he grabs Liam’s hips and squeezes.  Liam breaks the kiss first and lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding and smiles. **_“You had no intention of watching a movie did you babe?”_**  Zayn smirks at Liam.   ** _“No, love, I really didn’t.”_**  Liam answers as he pulls Zayn back on top of him.

Liam goes to roll over, wanting Zayn writhing underneath him; but Zayn pushes Liam’s hips further into the bed, never losing contact with his lips.  Liam pulls away, needing to breathe and Zayn attaches his lips to the small curve of Liam’s throat; he leans his head to the side, giving Zayn further access to his intended spots.  

Liam felt safe, he felt loved; he could feel it in the strong fingers holding him down, he could feel it in the soft kisses Zayn was placing on his neck, he could feel it to his core.   ** _“Don’t stop Zayn.  Don’t ever stop loving me.”_ **  Liam whispered.  Zayn pulled back slowly and looked into Liam’s eyes, **_“I couldn’t if I tried, babe.”_**

Liam ran his hands up and down his lover’s strong, muscular back and rested them on his shoulders.   ** _“_ _Make love to me.”_**

Liam caught Zayn with a strong, bonecrushing kiss; Zayn gasps around Liam’s mouth.  Every nerve in his body was on fire, almost over sensitive to the touches of Zayn’s body resting above his.

Zayn begins to leave a trail of kisses from Liam’s enticing throat, down to his nipples; he spends a minute or two teasing each little nub into a hardened point.  He then begins his quest, moving further south to his final destination. When he reaches the other boy’s belly,  he can feel him take a sharp, deep breath as his tongue juts out to taste the bottom of his stomach. His fingers play in Liam’s belly hair as Liam pulls harder on his hair, encouraging his movements.  After an antagonizing tease, he finally reaches Liam’s member and encases it in his wet, warm mouth.  Liam screams in pleasure and arches his back off of the bed, feeling so close to the edge before it’s even really began.

Zayn’s bobbing his head up and down at a slow pace, and sporadically reaches up to tweek Liam’s nipples; causing electricity to shoot through out Liam’s entire body.  He feels alive from head to toe. Liam moans again as Zayn’s tongue makes rounds around the head of his penis and slowly back down the shaft.

Zayn sits up and reaches over to the nightstand to find the white bottle of KY Jelly.  He adds a generous amount to his fingers and rubs them together a few times to warm it up.  He slowly inserts one finger into Liam’s awaiting body; Zayn leans in and kisses Liam again, softly this time, **_“Breathe babe.”_ **  Liam smiles and lets out a shaky laugh.

Zayn has started a slow rhythm with his two fingers, scissoring back and forth while placing lazy kisses up and down Liam’s collar and shoulders.  Liam reaches up and tangles his fingers in Zayn’s black locks and moans in pleasure when Zayn hits his small bundle of nerves.   ** _“That’s the spot, it is babe?”_**  Zayn smirks and continues to hit it over and over again; causing Liam to lose himself in the sensations.

 ** _"Now!”_**  Liam screams.  

 ** _“Not yet babe, you’re not completely ready.”_ **  Zayn reassures him as he adds the third and final finger.   ** _“Relax babe, and enjoy this.”_**

Zayn continued to tease Liam with the impossibly slow pace his fingers were moving and Liam thought he was going to go out of his mind in want if Zayn didn’t speed up or give him what he needed.  

Zayn then reaches for the bottle again to slick his penis and aligns himself with Liam’s body.   ** _“I love you.”_ **  Liam whispers as Zayn slowly enters Liam.  Liam sighs in contentment as Zayn finally bottoms out.   ** _“I love you too, babe.”_**  Zayn says, resisting the urge to slam into his willing body.

Zayn starts off with a slow pace; letting Liam’s body get used to the intrusion.  Before long, he gives into the urge to buck his hips fast and hard into Liam.  Liam’s hips buck off the bed, meeting Zayn’s thrust for thrust, both filling a primal need deep within themselves.

 ** _“It’s ok, fall, I’ve got you.”_**  Zayn says as he reaches down and grabs Liam’s penis; stroking it in time with his thrusts.

Liam comes first, shouting Zayn’s name.  Feeling Liam’s body convulse around his, causes Zayn to tip over the edge.  He leans down and kisses Liam as he comes inside of him.

Panting, Zayn bows his head down and tries to catch his breath; still supporting his weight on his arms.  He rests his head against Liam’s and smiles.   ** _“You alright babe?”_**  He chokes around panted breath.  Liam opens his eyes and stares into Zayn’s almond shaped ones, ** _“I’m perfect.”_**

 

The two fall asleep basking in the euphoria of their love making; content with the feeling of safety they both find in each other.

 

**_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~later that afternoon~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_ **

 

 ** _“The movie’s in, the popcorn is popped, and we’re curled up together on the couch.”_**  Liam says into the receiver talking to Harry. **_“We’re having a date night so……….”_**

 ** _“What’s he want, babe?”_ **  Zayn asks in a hushed tone.  Liam shrugs, **_“Ok mate, we’ll see you boys tomorrow.”_**

 ** _“He just needed to run something by me, but I told him we’d talk tomorrow.  Tonight I’m all yours.”_**  He leans over and kisses Zayn on the lips.

Liam grabs the remote and pushes the “play” button and starts the movie.  He snuggles down further into the couch and pulls the blanket from the back of the couch.   ** _“Comfy?”_**  Zayn asks.  

 ** _“Very.”_**  Liam says as he pulls Zayn’s arms tighter around his shoulder.  

The two sat in mutual silence and watched the movie; knowing they were safe, loved and happy.


	12. The Mystery

Early the next morning, Liam was already lounging, when Zayn finally opened his sleepy eyes and came back to reality. He blinked a few times and wiped his eyes to clear his sight; and saw Liam sitting in the chair, curled up in a ball.  He was watching the snow flurries fall slowly onto the dark hedges under the window sill. 

 ** _“Winter’s finally here.”_**  He says absentmindedly; still looking out the window, he curls his legs tighter into the chair.  He rests his chin on his elbow and lets out a small sigh. 

 ** _“Love you, babe.”_  **Zayn hopes it was whispered out loud enough for the other boy to hear. 

 ** _“Love you too.”_ **  Liam smiles; he slowly unfolds his legs and walks quietly towards the bed.

Zayn breathes in the cold air as Liam snuggles down beside of him and buries himself underneath the blankets. 

**_“It’s chilly this morning.”_**  Zayn kisses the curve of Liam’s neck.   ** _“Did you not sleep well?”_ **  Liam takes a long, slow breath, **_“Not really.  I spent most of the night watching you sleep.  I had a bad dream, but hearing you snore made it better.”_**  He snorted sending heart eyes towards the darker lad.

Zayn smiles, **_“Do you need a few more hours then?  My SNORING didn’t keep you up did it?”_**

Liam throws back his head and laughs, a loud gut ripping laugh; Zayn can’t remember the last time he heard that come from Liam.  “ ** _No, I’m good.  I promise.  What’s on the agenda for today?”_**   Liam says, wiping tears away from his eyes.

Zayn takes a moment to think, **_“I’m not totally sure babe.  I think we have another song or two to lay down before we’ve finished the album.  Wanna come lend vocals?”_**

Liam nuzzles closer to Zayn, ** _“If it means I get to spend the day with you, yes.”_ **  The boys snuggle, cocooned in the warmth of the bed, but encased with the warmth of each other's bodies.  They closed their eyes and relished in the last few moments they had, before the day would inevitably begin. 

**_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_ **

Zayn and Liam walk into the elevator, to head up to the top floor.  They’re early this morning, not wanting to irritate the boys after what happened last night.  

They walk into the studio, **_“How’s it going mate?”_**  Liam asks as he high fives Bob, the sound tech.  

 ** _“All is well.  You guys?  Early I see, and no love bites.  Late morning?”_**  He snickers as Liam blushes red.

 ** _“Yes.  To be fair, Zayn slept in late, I just…….. let him.”_**  He shrugged, earning a glare from Zayn.

 ** _“Anyways, are the boys on their way?_** ”  Zayn asks, rolling his eyes at Liam’s humorous remarks.

 ** _“They should be here any minute.”_ **  And right on cue, the trio walked through the door, laughing and stumbling as they were reacting to a joke that was told.

 ** _“What songs are on the schedule today?”_**  Zayn asks as he puts his earphones over his ears and adjusts the sides.

 ** _“I start this one out too?”_**  Liam asked with wide eyes, holding up the lyrics.

 ** _“Yeah mate, we want your vocals on our album.”_**  Louis crosses his arms and smiles.  He leans against the door jam, studying Liam’s face.

 ** _“I should just join the band.”_**  Liam said laughing, dropping the papers down on the music stand.

 ** _“Yeah babe, you should.  How about it?”_ **  Zayn wrapped his arms around Liam’s neck.

 ** _“Really?”_**  He asked, tears starting to well up in his eyes.   ** _“You would want me in your band?”_**  Liam asks incredulously.

Niall walks up behind of him and lays his hand on Liam’s shoulder, ** _“Mate, we’ve been telling you that for 3 weeks now.  We love your voice, and we want you in our band.”_** He slid his hand down Liam’s back and started rubbing circles between his shoulders.

Harry supplies, **_“Besides, no one else has your register!   You mesh well with all of us mate.”_**

 ** _“Right!”_**  Louis says with his lopsided smile.

Harry leans in, **_“And besides, that secret you own?  Was great mate, very very fantastic!”_**

Liam smiles, **_“To be fair, no one else knows about that, so it doesn't count.”_**

 ** _“Well, I do know about it!  It’s fantastic, trust me.”_ **  Harry hugs Liam to his side.  Zayn grunts and grumbles as he hands his boyfriend over to Liam.

 ** _“What’s this secret?”_**  Zayn asks as he lifts an eyebrow.   ** _“Should I be jealous?”_**

 ** _“Just that babe, a secret.  You’ll find out soon enough, I promise.”_ **  Liam pecks a small kiss to Zayn’s temple. **_“And you’re adorable when  you’re jealous.  Just no reason for you to be, and I’ll never give you one.”_**  Liam slides effortlessly into Zayn’s awaiting arms. **_“Besides, I do believe I was promised a cowbell?”_ **  

The group of boys laughed.   ** _“Patience my dear.”_**  Zayn pecked another kiss to Liam’s nose, **_“Patience.”_**

**_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_ **

**_“Great job boys!  That’s a wrap!”_ **  Bob said as he let go of the red button, signifying their day was over.

 ** _“Fancy having hot cocoa at the shop by the docks?”_ **  Zayn asked Liam as he took his head phones off; laying them on the music stand as he stands up to grab Liam’s head phones from him.

 ** _"Sure, sounds great.  Boys?”_**  Liam turns to the trio, asking if they’re free.

 ** _“Sure, they’ll catch up.”_ **  Harry started, **_“Hang back a sec Li, I need to ask you something.”_ **  Harry nodded towards the microphone stand and Liam caught up.   ** _“Yeah, sure mate.”_ **  He turned to Zayn.   ** _“Go on ahead love, I’ll only be a few minutes.  Order me one with peppermint, and I’ll be right there.”_**  He gave Zayn a sensual kiss on the lips and they faintly registered Niall’s wolf whistle.

They broke apart and smiled.   ** _“How did I get so lucky?”_**  Zayn asked, sincerity shining in his chocolate brown eyes.  

Liam smiled, his eyes looking into the dark pools staring into his soul. **_“I’m the lucky one.”_ **  He leaned in and kissed Zayn one more time; as the boys broke apart, Zayn turned to leave.  He stopped at Harry and whispered, **_“Take care of him mate.”_**  Harry nodded and the boys left.

Harry reached into his messenger bag, and pulled out a small square shaped object.   ** _“Here mate.  It’s all finished, ready for you to surprise your cutie.”_**  Liam smiled, **_“Really!!! So soon!?!?!”_ **  He carefully took the small object and placed it in his bag and hugged a surprised Harry.   ** _“Thank  you so much for helping me do this.”_**  Liam pulled back with tears in his eyes.   ** _“I can’t wait to give him this!”_**  Harry could feel the excited energy rolling off of the other boy.   ** _“Li, for what it’s worth, I think it came out great.  I would be honored to be alongside of you.  Promise me you’ll seriously think about joining us?”_**  Harry’s intense stare bore holes into Liam’s heart, **_“Yes mate, I promise.”_**  Liam relented.

 _ **“Good.”**_  Harry said.   ** _“Now, there’s a hot beverage calling our names, eh?”_**

The boys smiled and left the studio together, intent on hanging out with the other three boys all day.  Liam couldn’t wait to give Zayn his gift!  He was bouncing all day trying to find the “perfect” time;  but never really finding it.

 ** _"Tomorrow.”_ **  He promised himself. **_“Tomorrow I will surprise him!”_**

 

 


	13. A question is asked

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is part 2 of the 3 part chapter. Third part will probably come next week as I still need to edit it some. 
> 
> Liam gives Zayn his present, and the boys share a sweet moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song that's used is mine. I wrote it a while ago (I love writing lyrics and poetry) and thought it fit this story. Please don't use it, unless you give me the credit and link back to the story. Copyright belongs to me :) I don't have a beta, sooooooo it's all my mistakes if there are any.

**_“Congratulations, babe!”_** Zayn says giving Liam a long slow wet kiss.   ** _“It’s been six weeks since you’ve had an episode.  How do you feel?”_**

Liam wrapped his arms around Zayn’s middle, **_“Amazing.“_ **  He leaned it to steal another kiss.

 ** _“I have a present for you.  Well, rather I made something for you.”_**  Liam starts to stutter over his words.   ** _“I hope you like it.”_** It took 3 weeks for him to find the “perfect” time, and he was hoping that this really was it.  He reaches into his bag and pulls out the small square and hands it to Zayn.  

 ** _“It’s your milestone babe, I should be the one showering you with gifts.”_**  He said opening the plastic cover and placing the CD into the player.

 ** _“I wrote this while I was deployed, meaning for one of the boys to record it for me.  Harry helped me out a lot and I ended up doing the vocals for it.  I hope I did it justice.”_ **  He leans in to give Zayn a final kiss before pressing “start” on the CD player.

A slow soft guitar starts off the song and then Liam’s sweet voice fills his ears.

_Sitting in the dark, in the middle of the night._

_Wishing I was sitting by your side, but you’re not in sight._

_I’m drowning in the darkness, such an emotional fight._

_I’m floating all around, then I see you, my shining light._

__

_When I’m with you I just love to be,_

_I’m an emotional man, when it’s you and me._

_I want to be yours, I want to set be free._

_Can you say?  Can you say?  You want me?_

**_~~soft guitar solo~_ **

_Do you want me right there by your side?_

_Do you want me right there by your side?_

_That’s the place I’ve ever really wanted to be,_

_right there by your side._

__

_And I’ll do what you need,_

_I’ll do what ever you may need,_

_Just to be the man, who’s always_

_fighting there by your side._

**_~~soft guitar solo~_ **

_**  
**_Zayn wipes his cheeks, he didn’t realize he was crying at the heart and soul that Liam has put into the song.  He reaches out and takes Liam’s cheeks into his soft hands and places pecks all over his face. ** _“Yes, yes I do.”_** __ **  
**

 

_It’s you that  moves my spirit when the day begins._

_When the light is softly casting shadows on your skin._

_And I can feel the love that you have for me within_

_oh, oh, oh, it’s you that makes me want to live again._

**_~~soft guitar solo~_ **

_Do you want me right there by your side?_

_Do you want me right there by your side?_

_That’s the place I’ve ever really wanted to be,_

_right there by your side._

__

_And I’ll do what you need,_

_I’ll do what ever you may need,_

_Just to be the man, who’s always_

_fighting there by your side._

__

_oh, oh, oh, oh_

_Will you let me live by your side?_

_oh, oh, oh, oh_

_Every day by your side?_

_oh, oh, oh, oh_

_Do you want me……._

_forever…...by your side?_

**  
**Zayn, overcome with emotion, can only hug Liam.  He hugged him with such force Liam thought he was going to suffocate; but he was safe and secure in Zayn’s arms.  Zayn wanted to say something, but he was so emotional that his brain wasn't working; he lost all ability to speak. **  
**

 **  
**After a few moments, Liam pulled back and whispered, ** “Only you own my heart and soul.  You make me feel whole again Zayn. I want to feel you, I want to be with you, I want us together; no one else, just us.  Make love to me Zayn.”**

Zayn reached down and picked up the other man, and carried his bridal style, to the bedroom.  Their lips never losing contact with their lover’s.  Slowly, and carefully,  Zayn lay Liam down on the bed; he slowly crawled on top of the other boy and slowly laid down.

**_“I love  you.”_ **  Zayn whispers in between kisses.   ** _“I love you too.”_**  Liam rasps gruffly as he feels Zayn’s lips attach to his neck.

Liam looked at his lover, looming over him breathing hard from the sudden emotions taking hold of him.  He studied Zayn’s face, all flush and red from kissing him.  He looked at his strong shoulders, shaking with the weight of supporting his weight.  He looked at his eyes, full of tears and love and gasped when the emotions finally hit him.   ** _“You love me?”_** He whispered the realization.  

 ** _“Yes, babe, I love you.”_ **  Zayn whispered as he kissed him on the lips again.

“ ** _Forever and always.”_ **  He said as he trailed kisses down his neck and onto his chest.

The two boys shared the dance as old as time, when two beings, two souls become one.  This lasted long into the night and into the next morning; just sharing each other, taking their time, learning what the other needed and wanted.  Liam could honestly say, he has never felt so loved in his life.  

**_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_ **

_*Ring…….ring…...ring*_

Zayn, sleepily, sits up in bed and reaches across Liam to turn off the offending clock.  He sighed and wiped his tired eyes with the back of his hand and stretched, letting a yawn escape his lips.

 ** _"Li, babe, wake up.”_ **  He lightly shook the boy.   ** _“Li, it’s time to get up.  We have two hours before we have to be ready for the interview.”_**

 ** _“Mmmhmmm”_**  Liam acknowledged as he turned over in the bed.   ** _“Excited?”_**  He asked, looking into Zayn’s deep brown eyes.

**_“To tell the world I’m joining the greatest band that’s ever been put together?”_ _Zayn nods._** “Ask me after coffee.”  He teased.   ** _“Of course I’m excited!  How could I not be?”_**

**_“To tell the world I’m joining the greatest band that’s ever been put together?”_ **  Zayn nods.   ** _“Ask me after coffee.”_**  He teased.   ** _“Of course I’m excited!  How could I not be?”_**

 ** _“Just making sure you’re still sure about it.  That’s all babe.”_ **  Zayn snuggled back close to Liam.

 ** _“Of course I am.  I love you and I love the boys.  What else would I want to do than to spend my days with the people who mean the most to me?  And if I get to do something I love on top of that?  Well, I count myself blessed.”_ **  

 ** _"We are you know?  Blessed."_**  Zayn wraps his arms around Liam, pulling him tighter towards him.

 ** _"We are."_**  Liam said, drifting back off into slumber.   ** _"We are."_**

**_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_ **

  
**_“Everybody, put your hands together for our next guest.  The biggest boy band to  hit the US.  With four top 5’s under their belt, they’ve just released their newest single, “Little Things.”  The boys of One Direction.”_ **  

There are loud cheers and whistles coming from the audience and they all jump to their feet and applaud the group.

The 5 boys walk out and give small waves to the crowd, which makes them scream louder.

**_“Wow, what a reception.”_ **  The interviewer says as she hugs each individual boy.

The boys sit down.   ** _“Welcome, welcome!  How are you lads today?”_**

 ** _“Great!”_ **  Harry says.

 ** _“Fantastical.”_**  Liam says, which causes the audience to laugh a little.

**_“It’s a great day to be here.  Thank  you all for coming.”_**  Zayn says and gives a small wave to the audience, which again, causes a round of loud applause.

**_“Boys, last time you were here, you had just started working on your new album.  It’s supposed to hit stores next Monday.  Can you tell me about the style of the new songs?  Is it edgy, or same pop style?  And what are your favorites off of it?_** ”

 ** _“Well, my personal favorite is “What Makes You Beautiful.”_ _Liam here has laid vocals in a few songs and even leads vocals in a few.”_**  Louis started out.

 ** _“Right, so we thought we’d take this time to introduce him as the fifth member of the band.  He has officially joined One Direction.”_ **  Zayn supplied, entwining his fingers with Liam’s.  Liam gives him a nervous smile.

 ** _“That’s right. It took some convincing, but in the end, Zayn had the special power.”_ **  Niall said and winked at the duo.  Liam blushed.

 _ **“That’s fantastic news, Liam!  How has it been working with these four?  I bet they’re all fun and games aren’t they?”** _  She gave a sweet smile.

**_“It’s been great.  You know, we spend about four hours a day in the studio recording.  These guys here have been wonderful, teaching me the in’s and out’s of recording.  To be fair, it’s harder than it looks.”_**  He answered as he leaned closer to Zayn.

**_"Do you have a favorite song?"_ **

**_"Little Things"  It's about loving the little things your partner does, not forgetting there's more to them than what meets the eye.  Perfect love song."_**  He pats Zayn's leg as he answers.

**_"We need to go to commercial.  When we get back, the boys of One Direction will be singing their newest single "Little Things"  Don't move, we'll be right back."_ **

And so the interview ended after they sang their hearts out, Liam’s first time on stage singing.

 ** _“Great job guys!”_ **  She says as she walks over to the  boys.   ** _“Great song choice Liam, it is a beautiful song as you said.   How do you feel performing for the first time in front of a live audience?”_**

Liam smiles, **_“Invigorated!”_**

 ** _"Well, there you have it!  One Direction!”_**  She says and the audience cheers as the boys leave the stage.

 ** _“I’m so proud of you babe."_ **  Zayn kisses Liam.

 ** _“Yeah, mate!  Great job!  I love the beatboxing, we’ll have to add that in when we sing live.  Good choice!”_ **  Louis said.

Liam smiled, he was part of something now.  A group of friends that completed him.  How could he want anything else?


	14. The panic arises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liam has a panic attack, Zayn has a panic attack, Niall is the level headed one. The boys are gearing up for the concert.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't have a beta, so everything here is me, pure me. Also, I know that I posted some songs out of order; it's not that I didn't know the were out of order, I just did that to fit the story. Hope you enjoy!

**_“Leyyyuumm!”_   **Louis hollered as they were all being whisked away by their security.

 ** _"Li, go with Pauly babe!”_**    Zayn called as he jumped in his SUV.  It was so loud with the crowd of girls screaming, he just hoped Liam could hear him.

Liam had a small moment of panic with the crowd of screaming people and Zayn not in sight to ground him. He felt his heart racing and pulsing deep in his chest; he felt like it was trying to break its way out.  His breathing was coming too fast, taking large gulps of air only seemed to make things worse. He stopped to gather his head, feeling a little dizzy; he dropped to his knees when his breath wouldn’t slow.  He then felt two large arms lift him up as if he were a baby, and settle him in the back of his SUV.  His world was still spinning when it went black.

**_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_ **

Zayn had a mild panic attack worrying about Liam after he saw him fall to his knees.  He felt a small moment of relief when he saw Pauly pick his beloved up as his SUV pulled away.  He immediately grabbed his cell phone and tried calling Liam; he began hyperventilating, himself, when he didn’t receive an answer.

Niall was talking him through breathing when he finally received a text from the other driver; Liam was ok, awake, alert, and rather embarrassed.

They pulled into the hotel parking lot a minute or so apart from each other.  Zayn was waiting for Liam, shifting his feet back and forth, being rather impatient for Liam to get out of his SUV.  As soon as the boys locked eyes on each other, they were in a full speed run to get to the other one as quickly as their feet would carry them.  When ty were finally within reaching distance of the other one, their arms immediately shot out to grab the other one into a bone crushingly hard embrace.

 ** _“Babe, I was so worried.”_**  Zayn sighed and said into Liam’s neck. Relief was rolling off of Zayn in long tight waves.

Liam tightened his grip on Zayn.  “ ** _It’s ok.  I'm ok.”_**  He whispered. ** _“Dr. Macy has taught me it’s ok to be scared.  I did my breathing exercises as soon as I realized I was having a panic attack, but not soon enough for me to pass out from hyperventilating"_**   Liam pulled out of the embrace and cupped Zayn’s face with his large hands.   ** _“I’m so sorry I worried you.”_ **  

Zayn laughed through the tears streaming down his face.   ** _“It’s ok.”_**  He whispered.   ** _“You’re here and you’re safe babe.”_   **He finished.

Liam began kissing Zayn’s tears away, one by one.  When they were all gone, he leaned in and kissed Zayn tenderly on his awaiting pink lips.   ** _“I love you.”_ **  He said and kissed Zayn one last time.  Zayn pulls out of the embrace, **_“I love you too, babe.  Let’s go inside and snuggle up.”_**

 ** _“Sounds like a good idea to me.”_ **  He winked as he took Zayn’s hand and led him into the lobby of the hotel.  

**_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~later that night~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_ **

The duo were settling down for bed when their cell phones began buzzing with activity.  Apparently photos of Liam passing out were leaked onto twitter by very worried fans. Most of the tweets were well meaning wishes and hopes that he feel better soon.  Others, though, weren’t as nice.  Zayn sighed as he threw his phone down on the bed.

 ** _“Don’t worry about it babe.  It’s part of the territory, the good and the bad both tied up into a pretty little bow right there on twitter for the world to see.  Just focus on the good, and skip over the bad ones,  babe.”_**  Zayn said as he pecked Liam on the nose.

 ** _“You guys get stuff like this every day?”_**  He questioned.

 ** _“Yes, we do, babe.  We do.”_**  He picked up his toothpaste and squeezed some onto his white toothbrush,   ** _“But no matter what they say, they still support us at the end of the day.  That’s all we can really ask for, isn’t it?”_**  He placed the white brush in his mouth and began the nightly hygiene routine.

Liam turned on his ipod and began listening to his friends, 5 Seconds of Summer’s latest album, when the phone buzzed again.   ** _“My first day as a confirmed member of twitter, and I have 200,000 followers.  How weird_**!”  He said and dropped the phone back onto the bed.

Zayn pops his head out of the bathroom, toothbrush packed into his cheek, **_“You think that’s weird, wait until you hit the million mark.”_**  Liam gave a small chuckle and nodded.

Zayn finally padded out of the bathroom, and joined Liam under the covers.  He pulls the other boy closer to him and buries his nose in his neck.

 ** _“Better get some sleep, babe.  Sound check is at 4am tomorrow and the concert starts at 2pm.  How are you feeling?_**   ** _Nervous yet?”_**   Zayn cautiously asks.

 **“Not really.  I’m actually pretty excited.”**  He smiled as he turns in the bed to face Zayn.

 ** _“As long as you stay near me, I’ll be ok."_** Liam said as he leaned in stealing a soft kiss from his lover.

 ** _“Always,  babe.  I will always be by your side.  If it gets to be too much, there’s no shame in taking a small break.  You can go behind of the stage and grab a bottle of water.  Pauly will be back there so he can help you if you need  him.”_**  Zayn said as he ran his hands up and down Liam’s bare arm.  The act caused Liam to break out in goose bumps and shiver.

Zayn gave a crooked grin when he realized what happened as he watched the other boy turn a few shades of red in embarrassment.  

The two made slow passionate love that night, making sure that they felt loved and connected in every way possible before the hectic day that would undoubtedly follow.

**_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~the next day~~~~~~~~~~~~_ **

**_“I think we need to turn Louis’ mike up a step and Niall’s head peace up 3 steps.”_**  Liam hears as he sings into his microphone.

 ** _“Liam’s sounds good.  Zayn, let me hear you one more time please.”_**  The stage hand says as he’s talking to the group of sound operators.

 ** _“Truly, madly, deeply, crazy in love, with you. In love….. with you”_ **  Zayn sings as he looks directly into Liam’s eyes, hoping he can see it’s his feelings and not just a song he’s singing for sound quality.

The small tear that falls down the other boy’s cheek tells him that his message was conveyed successfully.  He then sees a mouthed, “I love you,” from the other boy and smiles.  He mouths the sentiment back and they all leave the sound stage for a quick bite of breakfast.  Pauly never leaving Liam’s side until he is sat inside of the black range rover.

 ** _“Liam,”_ **  Louis began, ** _“Here’s the setlist mate.  Let us know if there’s a song on there that you don’t know.  We can either skip it or sing it and you just lend background vocals.”_**  

Liam nodded and read the songs out loud.

 ** _“Live While You’re Young, “ got that one down. “Kiss you,”_   **he smirks, **_“_ _Zayn sings that one in his sleep, so got that one mate.  “Little Things,”  my absolute favorite, so yeah got that one. “C’mon, c’mon” I don’t think I know that one mate.”_ **  He squints his eyes, trying to remember the song, but coming up blank.

 ** _“Yeah, I’ve been watching you all night.  There’s something in your eyes, saying c’mon c’mon and “_ ** Louis began singing and Liam joins in at   ** _“dance with me baby.  Yeah, thanks mate.  I know the chorus, that’s all.”_**

Louis nodded, “ ** _No worries mate, that’s fine to just join in at the chorus.  Any others you don’t know?”_**

Liam went back the list and skimmed it.   ** _“Nope, I think I know them all.”_**  He handed the list back to Louis.

 ** _“No, mate, that’s yours to keep.  This is your first concert so you’ll need to know the order the songs come.  If you ever get to a point and aren’t sure what comes next, pull that out.  We all carry a list in our pockets.”_**   He patted his hip for good measure.

 ** _“Sure thing mate.”_ **  Liam said as he folded up his list and stuffed it in his back pocket.

 ** _“Two hours left.  What do you boys do to get rid of the nervous energy before the concert?”_**  Liam asks seriously.

 ** _“Well, Harry drinks tons of water and then puked.  Niall is just a big ball of energy anyway, so he usually exercises.  I like to run on stage and hear the girls scream and then run out.  It’s fun playing with them before the concert starts.”_ **  Liam laughs out loud.   ** _“Zayn, he usually calls you.  So why don’t you go find him and calm each other down, if you know what I mean.”_**  Louis says as he nudges Liam.

  
Liam smiles, **_“Yeah, I know what you mean.  Be back in a bit.”_**  And Liam disappears to find Zayn for a little one on one stress relief before the big concert.


	15. It's official, Liam is a band member

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The concert. This chapter is only the concert. Yes, I know there are some songs out of order, and I had Liam sing a few parts he didn't really sing in the actual songs. I did this to meet the needs of the story. I hope you enjoy!

5 Seconds of Summer just finished _“Amnesia”_ when Liam is notified they go on in an hour.  Intermission consisted of him trying not to throw up the contents of his stomach.

Zayn sympathetically laid a hand on Liam’s shoulder to try and calm his shaking nerves.

 ** _“Just breathe, babe.”_** He said as he pulled the taller boy into a tight embrace. **_“There’s no shame in saying you’re not ready to go on.”_**

Liam pulled back _, “ **No, I’m ready.  I’m just really really nervous.  I’ve never been in front of this many people before.”**_  He nuzzled his nose into the shorter man’s long silky locks.

 ** _“Just breathe, babe.  You’ll be great.”_ **  Liam nodded as he took a deep breath.  Zayn smelled of cigarettes and shampoo; Liam’s favorite combination.

 ** _“Group huddle!”_ **  Harry announces and breaks the tender moment.  The boys pull apart and join the huddle.

 ** _“Sydney on  three, one, two, three.”_**  Harry announces and the group finishes, **_“SYDNEY!”_**

Zayn takes Liam’s hand and the 5 boys run onto the stage.  The roar of the girls is almost deafening to Liam and he puts his ear piece in to help drown it out.

 ** _“What’s up Sydneeeeeyyyyyyy!”_ **  Niall screams.

 ** _“Make some noooooiiiiiiiiiiiisssssssseeeee!”_ **   Harry screams.

 ** _“Sydney!  What an awesome place to start off our tour.”_**  Louis says and the crowd got louder, to Liam’s surprise.

 ** _“Introducing Harry, Niall, Zayn, myself, Louis, and our newest band member, Liam Payne!  Make him feel welcome Sydney!”_**  Louis said as he gestures towards the new member.

Liam puts the mike to his mouth and says, **_“It’s great to be here guys.”_**  The roar gets louder and Liam shivers for a moment; but then feels Zayn’s comforting hand on his shoulder and he visibly relaxes.

 ** _“We just want to say a massive “thank you” to all of you guys for being here tonight.  What an awesome audience.”_ **  Harry says.

 ** _“For our first song, we’re going to sing Liam and my favorite off this album.  Here’s “Little Things.”_ **  Zayn announces.

 ** _“If you can do us a favor, turn on the lights to your phones or cameras and wave them around in the air for us.”_ **  Liam says as the lights go off.  Zayn looked at Liam and smiled.  It was the first decision Liam made for the band and it was an amazing idea.  .

The atmosphere for this song was calm and romantic.  Liam smiled as he took his place beside of Zayn.

 ** _“Your hand fits in mine like it’s made just for me,”_**  Liam slowly slides his hand into Zayn’s smaller.

 ** _“But bear this in mind, we were meant to be.”_ **  Zayn looks at Liam as he sings, **_“And I’m joining up the dots with the freckles on your cheeks,”_**   and nods so Liam knows his cue to harmonize. ** _“And it all makes sense to me.”_**

Liam takes a deep breath, willing the bile to stay down and sings, “ ** _I know you’ve never loved the crinkles by your eyes when you smile, you’ve never loved your stomach or your thighs.”_ **  He looks at Zayn and sees those same crinkles he just sang about spring up; Zayn is genuinely happy and you can see the smile all the way up to his eyes.

 ** _“The dimples in  your back at the bottom of your spine,”_ ** and Zayn comes in to finish the harmony, **_“But I love them endlessly.”_**

He leans over and plants a quick kiss on Zayn’s cheek, which causes every teenaged girl in a mile radius scream in excitement.

The song continues on and the audience seems to be loving Liam, the new edition to the band.  He feels welcomed and content.  

The music slows, which brings him back to reality.  

Harry is singing, ** _“Cause I won’t let these,”_ **  Liam starts a quiet beat boxing with Harry, who smiles. ** _“Little things slip, out of my mouth.  Because it’s you, oh it’s you,”_**  Liam is still beat boxing and the audience seems to like this improv. **_“It’s  you they add up to.  I’m in love with Lou, and all his little things.”_**  Louis stands and kisses Harry on the cheek.

 ** _“My babe everybody!”_ **  Louis screams and the energy in the place just went up a million decibels Liam thinks.

They quickly transition into **_“C’mon, C’mon”_ ** which was quickly becoming one of Liam’s favorite songs.  He enjoyed skipping across the stage with the boys, singing backup and parts of the chorus.  

The crowd seems to get louder with his back up "c' ** _mon, c'mon"_**   he likes to add here and there and repeat after it’s said during the song.

Then the song slows, and Zayn begins, **_“And I said hey, I’ve been watching you all night.”_** And it picks up again and he joins the other 4 boys to sing the chorus, **_“There’s something in your eyes,”_**  He hears Zayn go into a falsetto on the word “eyes,” and he smiles.  He loves when Zayn hits those notes, and the audience apparently does as well.   He’s snapped back to the song when Zayn hits the high note in **_“Yeah”_ ** and he’s having the time of his life.  

The song finishes and the boys join each other in the center of the stage to take a few questions, and grab a bottle of water to wet their cotton dry mouth.

He takes a moment to open a graham cracker and snack while the boys are busy being the immature selves they are and we all love.  He joins them on the big red couch that’s been slid on the stage and laughs to himself.  Only Harry would ask for a comfy couch to be placed on the stage as they boys take a rest.

Questions are over, and they all start back up with, _“Live While We’re Young.”_

 ** _“Yeah, we’ll be doing what we do, just pretending that we’re cool and we know it too.”_** Liam LOVES when Zayn sings a in a lower register and higher register in the same breath.  He’s constantly amazed by this man’s range and control over his voice.

He joins in the chorus and bounces up and down on, **_“Let’s go crazy, crazy til we see the sun.”_ **  He’s weaving back and forth through the other 4 boys as they run from one side of the stage and dance then run to the other side of the stage and dance.

He reaches Zayn and they look at each other as they sing, _**“Tonight, let’s get some, and live while we’re young.”** _  Zayn winks at Liam, which makes his heart pound harder in his chest.  He’s so in love with this man; when he thinks he can’t love him more, Zayn gives him a look, and he finds himself falling in love all over again.

He surprises Zayn when he joins him, **_“Hey girl it’s now or never, now or never.  Don’t overthink just let it go.  And if we get together, we get together, don’t let the pictures leave your phone.”_**

Niall starts the chorus and Zayn gives Liam a one armed side hug.  He glances to  Louis who gives him a thumbs up.

The song continues and finishes out and Liam feels like his throat is raw from singing.  He’s thankful there’s only 1 song left to sing, because he doesn’t know how to do this night after night.

Zayn begins, ** _“Alright guys, it’s been incredible!  The last song we’re going to sing for you is off of our last album.  It’s a little song called, “Moments.”_**

Liam expects the energy to die down with a slower song, but if anything, it intensifies.  He feels like he’s going to burst with happiness and nerves both at the same time.

Liam takes a breath to calm himself, **_“Shut the door,”_** he begins and the girls scream louder.  He has to slip his hand into Zayn’s to keep  his panic at bay.  So many people, so loud.

 ** _“I cannot hide this even though I tried.”_ **  He sings and takes a deep breath.  Louis has silently made his way to Liam’s side and rests a hand on his shoulder as he picks up the second half of his verse.

 ** _“Hearts beat harder, time escapes me. Trembling hands touch skin, it makes this,”_**  Liam joins back in and sings with Louis, **_“Harder, and the tears stream down my face.”_ ** He sings in falcetto.

Harry picks up his part and Liam gives Louis a hug and a whispered, **_“Thank you,”_** for helping him through that verse.  The song rolls through and Liam settles quickly into his parts and his nerves have calmed a bit.  

When Zayn gets to Liam’s favorite part of the song, he joins in, **_“Flashing lights in my mind, going back to the time,”_** and Liam remembers his return from active duty and all the paps waiting for their pictures, Zayn made them official that day.   ** _“Playing games in the street, kicking balls at my feet,”_**  Liam smiles at the memory of Niall and Louis playing footie before the concert in the back lot. **_“Dancing on with my toes, being close to the edge. There’s a pile of clothes at the end of your bed.”_ **  Zayn looks at Liam, knowing he’s connecting these lines to his panic attacks and falling in Zayn’s arms at the end of them for added comfort and security. **_“As I feel myself fall, I make a joke of it all.”_**  Liam smiles through the tears.  He understands at this moment, Zayn loves him and their friends more than life itself.

The song ends and the audience immediately screams, **_“Encore, encore.”_**

 ** _“Thank you Sydney for  being so kind to us.”_**  Harry says.

  
All five boys wave and exit the stage.  There’s a round of **_“Great job’s!”_ ** and **_“Amazings!”_ ** shouted as they make their way to the tour bus.  Liam finally relaxes.  He’s with his friends and Zayn, life is good. 


	16. Where is Niall?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone has a significant other except Niall. Niall leaves and doesn't tell the boys where he went to, sooooooooo they have to entertain themselves until he gets back. This is a short chapter, just to introduce the newest friend and only girlfriend to the story. The next one will tie it up in a pretty bow. So, think of this as chapter 16A.

**_“Has anyone seen Niall?”_ **  Louis asked as he walked into Zayn’s hotel room and plopped down on the bed.

 ** _“Not since we left the studio.”_**  Liam answered.

Zayn gives a sideways look to Louis, who is obviously very worried about his friend.

 **"** ** _When was the last time you seen him Lou?”_**  Zayn closed the door and turned to face the smaller boy.

 ** _“At the studio as well.”_** He gave a small frown as he sat up on the bed.

They hear a knock at the door; Zayn mumbles something about too many people interrupting his alone time as he opens the door.  On the other side is an equally worried Harry.

 **"** ** _Guys, I can’t find Niall.  He’s not answering his phone or his door.”_ **  Harry said as he walks into the room and sat on Louis’ lap.

 **** ** _“I’m sure he’s out on the town.  You know Niall, if there’s a pub in the area, he’s there.  If he’s not back in a few hours, we’ll send Pauly to find him.”_**  Zayn closed the door and sighed.  He reserved himself to a long night of listening to the boys worry about Niall.

 ** _“Maybe he picked up a girl?”_**  Liam shrugged.

 **"** ** _Maybe, but that’s not like Niall.”_**  Louis wrapped his arms around Harry and shifted into a more comfortable position.

**_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_ **

Niall walked up the long gravel driveway and straightened his clothes before he raised his hand to knock on the tall cherry stained wooden door.  It opened and he smiled and grabbed the greeter in a huge hug.  He pulled back and gently kissed her on her soft pale cheek.  

He felt his phone vibrating in his pocket, so he reached in and grabbed it.  He sees “Louis” is calling; he frowned as turned it off.  He stepped inside the white house and smiled as the door closed behind of him.

**_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_ **

**_“Come on guys, just a few more lines!!”_ **  Harry tried to make sound understandable; he’s focused on standing straight without assistance but it’s not working because he’s laughing too hard.

 ** _“No, Harry!  My side’s hurting from laughing!”_** Liam said as he tried to straighten up but was still laughing hysterically.

 ** _“I can’t breathe boys!”_**  He said again as he fell down. His feet kicked into the air as he held his side for good measure.

They were making up their own Irish Drinking songs and having a few shots while they were waiting for Niall to show back up.  Liam was the only one who has not touched the alcohol, because it would interact with his medication.

There was a steady “Thump, thump” from the bass that was playing over their laptop speakers.

 ** _“Oh hidy, hidy, hidy, hidy, hidy, hidy hough!  Once I met a sweetie.”_ **  Harry started.

 ** _“Who had a little car.”_** Liam sang.

 ** _“She never went to a bar.”_** Zayn sang.

 ** _“Or anywhere very far.”_**  Louis finished.

 ** _“Oh hidy, hidy, hidy, hidy, hidy, hidy, hough!”_ **  They all sang together.

 ** _“She once said she was scared.”_**  Liam smiled as he sang.

 ** _“But she really was not.”_**  Zayn wrapped his arm around Liam.

 ** _“She ran out in the snow.”_** Louis sang.

 ** _“Too bad it was yellow.”_**  Harry sang and the whole group laughed.

 ** _“Oh hidy, hidy, hidy, hidy, hidy, hidy, hough!”_**  They all sang together.

 ** _“She was always warned.”_** Zayn sang.

 ** _“Not to eat yellow snow.”_**  Louis sang.

 ** _“But she did anyway.”_**  Harry sang in his baritone voice which caused more laughter.

 ** _“And turned to a marshmallow”_**  Liam finished.

 ** _“Oh hidy, hidy, hidy, hidy, hidy, hidy, hough!  Oh hidy, hidy, hidy, hidy, hidy, hidy, hoooooo!”_ **  They all sang together.

****  
**_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_ **

**_“Nuala, it’s been forever!  How have you been?”_ **  Niall says as he sat down onto the big leather couch in the foyer of the white house.

 ** _“I’ve missed you Niall.”_**  She sat down beside of him and laid her head on his shoulder.   ** _“It’s been too long.  How many days are you back in Ireland?”_**  She tangled her fingers in Niall’s larger hand and inhaled his scent.

 ** _"We have a month off before we pick up in the States."_ **  He answered as he wrapped her in his arms.   ** _"It's been too long love.  I'm glad you called."_ **  He said and kissed her rosy red lips.

_**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~** _

The boys are all passed out in a huge pile of legs and arms, when Niall finally gets in.  He laughs at the sight in front of him and thinks back to the lady whose company he just left.  It had been way too long since he had seen her, and all those feelings came rushing back to him.

  
He lifted his hand up to his lips, where he can still feel the ghost touch of his girl, and smiles.  He walks further into the room and hangs his jacket onto the coat hanger and lays down in the pile with his friends.  He settles off into a restful sleep.


	17. To tell or not to tell?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liam gives Niall some advice and Niall makes an announcement.
> 
> Nuala is an Irish Gaelic name that I just absolutely fell in love with. It's pronounced, "Noo-lah"

**_“Hello Dublin!?!?!?!”_**  Niall screamed and the audience screamed louder than they were before.

 ** _“How are you doin’ tonight?”_**   Liam said as he waved his hands in the air.

 ** _“Let’s get this show on the road Dublin!!  Are you ready?!?!?”_ **  Harry added and the girls continued screaming. **_"We can hear you on this side of the room."_**  The audience cheered as Harry pointed to the left side of the auditorium. **_"We can hear you in the front of the room."_ **  The audience cheered louder when Harry pointed to the rows in front of him. **_"We can hear you on that side of the room.......  We can hear you in the back of the room!"_**  Harry smiled as the audience gradually got louder and louder. 

 ** _“First song tonight,  “Little Things.”_**  Zayn said.  The lights went down, and the mobile camera lights came up and the audience went silent.

Liam smiled to himself, knowing this was his doing and began his verse of   _“Little Things.”_

**_~~~~~~~~~ after the concert ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_ **

**_“Where were you last night, mate?”_** Louis questioned Niall.

 ** _“I needed to clear me head mate, so I took a short walk._** ”  Niall leaned down to tie his shoe, taking a moment to breathe.

 ** _“Don’t screw with me Niall, Where did you go?  You didn’t walk around town, alone, for 7 hours! We were worried about you!”_ **  Louis advanced angrily on the shocked blond.

 ** _“Oi, mate, what is this?  20 questions?  I’m fine, I needed a moment to think.  Fuck off.”_**  Niall brushed past Louis and exited the stadium.

The 4 boys looked at each other in shock and quietly followed their friend out of the building.  When they reached their SUV’s, Liam quietly suggested he ride with Niall alone so he could maybe try to talk to the irate boy.  The other 3 quickly agreed, not wanting to tick Niall off any further.

 ** _"What’d they do, fear my Irish temper so send you to baby-sit me?”_** Niall pouts as he crosses his arms and gazes out of the tinted window.

 ** _“No mate, I thought you could use a friend, so I offered to come lend a listening ear.”_ **  Liam puts his hand on Niall’s shoulder, and winces a bit when Niall shoved his hand off.

Niall sighs, **_“Sorry mate.  I didn’t mean to snap at you.  It’s just that…………… I don’t want them to ruin it, is all.”_ **  He leans in and nudges his nose against Liam’s shoulder, willing the tears not to spill.

 ** _“Could you tell me, specifically, what “It” is?”_**  Liam wraps his arm around Niall, pulling him in close to his body.

 ** _“Nuala.  She was the girl I left when we started this insane journey together.  I’ve kept in contact and she’d moved on…………. but last night.”_**  Niall pauses to get his mind wrapped around what it is he wants to say. **_“Last night, it was like I was back in school and she was still mine.  She said she would be, if I’d just let her in.”_**  He smiled at the memory. **_“But letting people in was never my strong suit, now was it, mate?”_ **  

 ** _“So, you snapped at Louis because?”_**  Liam tried.

**_“Because as soon as he finds out that I still love her, he’ll tear the Micky out of me; and I’m not ready for that yet.  Our relationship is still new, even though it’s a few years old.  We’re just rediscovering each other mate, and Louis will mess that all up.”_ **

**_“How exactly would he do that?”_ **  Liam tried again.

 _ **“Like he does everything else.  He will tease me and tease me until I break it off with her to stop his relentless banter.  It happens every time I find a girl that I like.”** _  Niall can’t stop the tears from falling. **_“But, Li, I really like this girl.  Like I’ve never liked another girl as much as I do Nuala.  If Louis finds out, he’ll just………..”_ **  Niall sighed once he realized the misplaced blame.

 ** _“Ni, I love you like you were my little brother, so please don’t be upset when I ask you this.  Is it Louis you’re afraid of messing things up, or is it the fans you’re afraid will run her off?”_**  Liam wrapped his other arm around Niall and held him tighter.

Niall sighed, _ **“Both?  I guess, maybe?”**_  He shrugged as he tried to slow his ragged breathing and stop the tears from falling.

The SUV came to a slow stop and Niall wiped his face with the back of his hands.   _ **“Sorry to soak your shirt mate.  Thanks for listening.”** _  He took a deep breath, **_“Please don’t say anything to the other lads.”_**

Liam nodded, ** _“I’ll never break your trust mate, but I hope you’ll tell the boys and when you’re ready, the fans.  Give them more credit; they’ve never once tried to break me and Zayn up.  We’ve never tried to break Harry and Louis up.  They will respect you that much, I do believe, mate.  Tell them, and introduce them.  Things have a funny way of working themselves out.”_**

Niall smiled, _ **“Now I see why you’re called “Daddy Direction.”**_

Liam laughed a loud  happy laugh, **_“Thanks mate, I think.”_**

The duo hugged and stepped out of the SUV onto the sidewalk, where they met 3 very worried boys.

 ** _“Sorry I snapped Lou.”_ **  Niall softly said as he tightly hugged Louis. _**“You’re my best mate, Lou.  I hope you know that.”** _  He sniffled and Louis wrapped his arms around Niall’s small frame.

 ** _“I’m sorry too mate, I could have asked nicer; It’s just we were all really worried that you were hurt or something.”_**  Louis shrugged as he pulled Niall closer to his body.

**_“I have something to tell you, but not now.  Tonight, at tea good?”_ **

_**“Yeah, tea.  Sounds good mate.” L**_ ouis nodded as he released Niall.  The 5 boys all walked quietly into the large hotel; each boy having a different worry on their mind to contemplate.

 ** _"Li, I think you should call Dr. Macy.”_ **  Zayn said once the 2 had entered into their hotel room.  Liam sat down on the bed and nodded, “I think you may be right.”  Zayn sat down beside of Liam, **_“It’s not that I don’t think you’re doing ok, babe; it’s just that it’s been a while since you’ve talked.  It’s important to keep up your visits, right?”_ **  Zayn rested his head on Liam’s shoulder and inhaled his scent…. musky aftershave and mint toothpaste. **_“Yeah, I’ll do it after tea.  She’s a few hours behind us right now, and I don’t want to disturb her at home.”_**

Zayn nodded, **_“Good babe, after tea sounds good.”_**

**_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_ **

**_“Li, babe, wake up.  Tea is in an hour and we need to be there for Niall.”_**  Zayn softly shook Liam’s sleeping body as he spoke in the other boy’s ear.   ** _“Li, I know you know what’s up with Niall, so please get dressed so we can all be there for him.”_**

Liam sighed as he sat up, stretching his long arms above his head.  Zayn swallowed hard when he saw Liam’s shirt riding up his torso, exposing a small sliver of skin just right above his hip.

 ** _“Don’t get horny on me babe.”_**  Liam snickered, bringing Zayn out of his reverie. _ **“You wish babe, you wish.”** _  The boys dressed in relative silence and made their way down to the dining hall.

When they sat down at the round table, they realized it was set for 6 instead of 5.  Liam smiled knowing Niall was going to introduce them to the girl; Zayn frowned in confusion.

Liam laid his white cloth napkin across his khaki pants and took a sip of his water.  Niall walked up holding a beautiful girls hand and shyly pulled out the chair so that she could sit.

Nuala had beautiful long red hair, with just a small amount of curl weaved through it; that almost reached her tiny waist.  She had beautiful pale white skin with touches of purple and brown freckles on her cheekbones and ears.  She wore the perfect shade of green with little outlines of beige around the collar and sleeves.  Liam could see why Niall was so smitten with this girl.  The other 4 boys stood up and waited for her to sit, before they returned to their seats.  Louis folded his hands in his lap, waiting for Niall to explain who this beautiful woman was.

Niall took a shaky breath, **_“Lads, this is Nuala.  Noo, these are the boys.”_**  The group shared a few awkward, **_“Hello’s,”_** before all eyes fell onto Niall.

 _ **“Before we started this amazing journey together, I was in love with Nuala.  I still am; in love with her, I mean.  But when we went touring we lost contact with each other.  I was either too busy or we couldn’t figure out the time zone thing.”**_  Niall paused to look over at the girl, **_“But now, we’re older and we’re in a place where we think we can make it work.  So, boys, this is Nuala, my girlfriend.  Nuala, these are the boys, the best friends a lad could have asked for.”_**  He looked around the table and smiled as the boys started up a conversation with Nuala.

 ** _“Lou, the other night…”_**  Niall started. ** _“No worries mate.  I completely understand.”_**  Louis interrupted Niall’s explanation. Niall let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

 ** _“Love you mates.”_ **  He said as he took Nuala’s hand in his and kissed it, **_“And I love you too, Noo.”_**

 

 


	18. Yes or no?

Niall lay quietly beside of a sleeping Nuala; content in watching the rise and fall of her chest.  He felt an abundance of feelings in that one special moment.  He felt unbearable love for this woman, this woman who had put her life on hold and wait for him; even if she wasn’t willing to admit to it.  He felt admiration for Liam; the boy who was quickly becoming one of his best mates, the one he went to for advice.  He felt happy knowing that Harry, the curly haired boy, was always in his corner.  He felt sad that he felt so strongly against telling Louis about Nuala; Louis, his best friend, the boy he could always tell anything to, the boy who could always cheer him up.  He felt relieved that Zayn, the quiet one, had warmed up to her almost instantly.  Most of all, he felt embarrassed about not wanting to share this part of his life with his fans.  He was selfish, yes, but he wanted her for himself, just a bit longer. He was planning in his head how to approach it during the next interview when a shrill sound pulled him out of his reverie.

His cell phone rang and he quickly reached to answer it, hoping not to wake the sleeping girl curled up into his side.  After a quick conversation with his mother, he settled down under the blankets and pulled her closer.  Eventually, he followed her into slumber.

**_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_ **

**_“Li, you knew about her didn’t you babe?”_ **  Zayn asked as he stepped out of his tight black jeans and folded them neatly.

 ** _“We talked about her on the ride back, yes.”_ **  Liam picked up the toothbrush and began scrubbing his pearly whites.  He kept his eyes tightly on the mirror, hoping that the kept secret wouldn’t upset the other man.

 ** _“Why didn’t you say anything?”_**  Zayn asked as he slid on his fluffy blue pajama bottoms, he stretched the elastic band a few times to added comfort and tied the string at the top.

 ** _“He asked me not to.”_ **  Liam shrugged while spitting out the green toothpaste. **_“You know when I make a promise, I keep it.”_ **  His eyes drifted over the reflection of his shoulder and caught the other boys for a split second.

Zayn walked up behind of Liam and wrapped his darker arms around the other boy’s waist, “ ** _Yes babe, that’s one of the reason’s I love you so much.”_ **  Zayn rested his chin on top of Liam’s strong shoulder. **_“One of the many reason’s babe.  Did you have a good talk with Dr. Macy?”_**  He kissed Liam’s earlobe as the other boy turned in his arms.  Liam nodded and smiled,   ** _“Take me to bed babe.”_** Was all that was whispered between them and the night.

**_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_ **

**_“So, love, what did you think of Niall’s girl?”_**  Louis said as he pulled back the covers of the king sized hotel bed.

 ** _“She seems like a lovely girl.”_**  Harry responded as he tossed a few of the smaller pillows into the side chair.  The two slipped quietly into the bed and sighed.

 ** _“I’m sad that he didn’t feel like he could tell me about her tho.”_ **  Louis curled tighter into Harry and rested his ear against the other boy’s chest.  He swore that their hearts beat in time with each other, where there should be two heart beats, there is only one.

 _ **“I don’t think it was like that Lou; I think he wanted to keep something for himself for once.  He wanted to keep something that’s new and special private until he was sure how we’d react to her.”**_  Harry kissed Louis’ temple.  “He loves her, he just wanted us to love her as well, that’s all.”

Louis snorts, ** _“When did you become the smart one, eh?”_**

Harry laughs, **_“Someone has to be in this relationship.”_**

Louis bites at Harry’s collar, **_“Shut up love!”_**  He tickles Harry’s side, **_“Kiss me you fool,”_   **was whispered before they danced the dance as old as time.

  
**_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_ **

Everyone had been up for a few hours, waiting for Harry to finally join the land of the living.  Zayn had been up so long, he passed out, snuggled down under the covers with the curly haired boy.  That’s how the other 3 boys and Nuala found them an hour later.

Niall pulled out his guitar and the other 2 boys start to laugh; this was a routine of theirs when they’re on the road and the other boys refuse to wake up.  Liam took his position on the left side of the bed, Niall at the foot, and Louis at the right; Louis nodded and Niall began to play the guitar.

 _ **“It’s time to get up in the morning.”**_ Niall started as Louis and Liam began stroking the other boys faces. ** _“In the morning.”_ **  Liam repeated in falsetto. ** _“We’ve got McDonald’s breakfast for you.”_**  Niall sang.   ** _“Wouldn’t have any other brand.”_ **  Louis sang and Nuala snored,  trying to contain her laughter.   ** _“We drove 2 miles to get it,”_**  Niall started. **_“So, you’d better get up and eat it.”_ **  Liam finished and Nuala doubled over laughing, tears falling down her cheeks, **_“Just 2 miles boys?”_ **  She said wiping away the tears. **_“So we gotta get up!”_ **  The boys are screaming now more than singing as Nuala starts shaking the bed.  Liam jumped on it and began bouncing up and down as he’s scream/singing. ** _“Get up, gotta get up, get up, get up.”_** They’re laughing and jumping on the bed, trying to get the other two to get up.  Zayn growled and mumbles something about nutering Liam which causes more laughter from the group.  Niall stopped strumming the guitar and Liam sang in his beautiful falsetto, ** _“It’s time to wake up.”_**  Harry sat up and stretched as Zayn tried to punch Liam in the balls.  Nuala has now laid down on her back laughing and Louis was messily kissing Harry’s curls. **_“It’s time to wake up.”_ **  Harry said and returned Louis’ kisses.

Zayn grumbled as he groggily stumbled out of bed and into the waiting arms of his lover.

 ** _“Today babe, 14 weeks episode free.  Let’s celebrate.”_ **  Zayn sleepily said as he kissed Liam on the bridge of his nose.

 ** _“Where to?”_** Harry asked.  

 ** _“I know this little bistro off of South Street, great Italian food, if you’re up for that sort of thing.”_**  Nuala suggested with a pink tinge to her cheeks.

 ** _“So_ _unds perfect.  Let’s get dressed and go.”_ **  Liam said again as he kissed Zayn’s temple. **_“Love you  babe.”_ **  They whispered and commenced their task of getting dressed.

After the dinner, Niall asks the boys if they mind Nuala touring a few cities with them.  They all seem to agree it would be good for Niall to have her along and he sets off with the task of asking her.  In the end, she agreed to tour Ireland with them, but would be unable to go to England due to University starting back up.  Niall was happy, for the first time in his short life, he felt like everything was finally coming together.  He had a great job, amazing friends, and a fantastic love; he was on cloud nine, until his cell phone rang.  The boys saw his face change and want to question it, but know better; Niall will come to them when he’s ready.

He’s ready, later that evening. **_“Lads, do you remember my brother Greg?"_** They all nod. ** _“He’s engaged and they want me to be the best man.  How can I be a good best man if I can’t be there to do…. you know, the best man duty, things.”_**  He stuttered out as his bottom lip trembled.

 ** _“Oh, Ni.  We have 3 months off soon.  You can do all of you duties plus ours then.   We’ll even help plan the stag party.”_ **  Louis said with a dirty grin on his face.

 ** _“Oi, that’s my soon to be sister mate.  No strippers allowed!”_**  Niall chided, which earned laughter from the group.

Niall crossed his arms and glared at the other 4 boys, which again, caused more laughter than seriousness.   ** _“It’s fine mate.  You’ll see, it’ll work out.”_**  Liam said around his burger.

 ** _“I hope so, mate.  If they have any kids, I do hope I can be a good uncle to them.”_**  He said pushing his potatoes around on his plate.

Liam puts a gentle hand on the Irish boy’s shoulder ** _, “You will be Ni.  We all will be.  We’re one big happy, dysfunctional family aren’t we mate?”_**

Zayn nodded and responded, **_“Yes, we are babe.”_**

The boys eat the rest of their meal in comfortable silence.

**_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~concert in Liverpool a week later~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_ **

The group had just finished _“Up All Night,”_ when their question and answer session began.  

 

 ** _“Instead of taking questions tonight, I have something planned with the lads.  Well, except for Harry.  Hazza, sit on the couch for me love.”_ **  Louis said as he and the other boys take their places on the stage.

 

Liam took a knee in front of Harry, ** _“Harry, since I’ve known you, you’ve been a part of Louis’ heart, maybe even soul.  The two of you have the relationship that everyone dreams about having but never quite able to achieve.  You’re serious but fun at the same time; you know when he needs comfort and you know when he needs a swift kick in his arse.”_**  Liam said earning an, **_“Oi, not helping,”_ **  from Louis.  The audience laughed and cheered at Liam’s backhanded compliment and Louis’ response.  Harry’s still not quite sure what’s going on, but he laughed at Louis’ antics.   ** _“Sorry mate, it’s true.”_ **  Harry said smiling as Louis feigned shock.  Liam shook his head with a smile, and stood up, allowing Zayn to come in.

 ** _“When I think of how two people in love should be, I look at you and Lou.  You two are the sun in the other’s sky, the moon and the stars.  If you’re not together the world doesn’t turn; and we all see that in your eyes, Harry.  Louis loves you and you love Louis; it’s beautiful to see really.”_**  Zayn stood up and allowed Niall to come in.  Harry, now unable to speak, nodded his head in agreement with Zayn.   ** _“It’s ok babe, just breathe.”_**  Zayn whispered as Niall took his spot.

 ** _“I hope that one day, people can look at me and Noo, and think the same things about us, Harry.  You and Lou?  You’re perfect for each other, which is why we all agreed to write these few lines for you two.  To prove how much we love you and admire your relationship.”_ **  He audience has went silent, not sure what exactly is happening; but waiting anxiously for Louis to come in and maybe make what’s happening clearer. **_“Louis is going to ask you something Harry, something really important.  I hope whatever your answer is, you will be happy when you give it.”_**  Niall stood up and gave a small kiss to Harry’s cheek and whispered a, **_“We love you mate,_** ” to his temple.

Louis came in and dropped down to his knee; which made Harry choke up, tears streamed faster down his face as he realized what Louis was doing.  The audience now at a low roar as they too have realized what’s happening.

 ** _“Hazza,”_**  Louis began.   ** _“You’re the love of my life Hazza,”_ **  His words now shaking with raw emotion mixed with nerves.   ** _“I can’t imagine living a second in this lifetime without you beside of me; my best friend and my lover. You’re a part of me and I’m a part of you. Marry me Hazza?  Marry me please, and make me the happiest man that God has put on this planet.”_ **  Louis said with tears welling up in his eyes.

Harry was so gripped with emotion, he couldn’t speak.  All he could do was nod his head in an affirmative and be swept away in emotions as Louis framed his face with his hands and proceeded to kiss the living  breath out of his body.

 

 


	19. A new life is born

**_“On the road again.  I just can’t wait to get on the road again.”_**  Liam sang, causing Zayn to give him a side eye.

 ** _“Old American Country babe?  Really?”_**  His eyebrow lifted as he smirked out.

 ** _“Better than that new stuff they call “country.”_ **  He used air quotes on “country” for effect.

Zayn smirked and walked onto the official tour bus.  He and Liam have their own bed, but they have both pretty much silently agreed that they’ll share one bed; same as Harry and Louis and Niall and Nuala (when she’s on the road with them).

 ** _“Recording session at 8 mate, I go in at 8:45.  Hopefully we’ll get this last song recorded before we actually hit Holland.”_**  Louis said as he passed Zayn on his way to his seat.

Their favorite thing about this new bus was the studio that came along with it.  They can set up shop where ever they were and still have plenty of time to record.  This gave them more time to sit together and write their new stuff.  Liam had worked hard on his latest song he dedicated to Zayn and he wanted to record it in secret and give it to him as a Christmas Present.  

Nuala had not gotten used to the road; she became carsick a few times.  Niall doted on her, bringing her peppermint tea to help calm her churning stomach.  She had joined them back in Scotland and flew with them to Italy and now was not enjoying the drive up the countryside.

Next stop was Spain.  The crowd had been wild when they exited the stadium and Liam had had a small panic attack.  Pauly had to carry him to the SUV to keep him from attacking the fans that were coming too close to him.  Liam’s panic caused Niall to freeze up in a bout of Claustrophobia. Seeing the two panicking boys just incited the crowd to move closer and closer as the fans were trying to make sure they were ok.  Sheer panic ensued as the boys bodyguards were tasked with crowd control on top of keeping the boys safe.

Liam called Dr. Macy on the way to the hotel, but ended up having to have a session with a fill in doctor while Dr. Macy was on vacation.  He did not like not being able to talk to her; but in the end, he felt better talking to someone.

 ** _“Feeling better?”_** Zayn had asked that same evening as Liam made his way to the duo’s bed.

 ** _“I am babe.  Sorry for the scare.”_**  He said sheepily as he ducked his head underneath the blankets.

Zayn wrapped his arms around the larger boy and kisses his hair, **_“Never apologize for being upset.  It was a scary situation babe.  I was scared for you; Harry gripping my hand, pulling me towards the cars was the only thing keeping me grounded.  If I’m being totally honest.”_**

 ** _“Mates?”_ ** Niall says outside of their curtain.

Zayn sighs and pulls it open.  

 ** _“Nuala and I are going to elope when we get to France.  You know, getting married in Paris; city for lovers and all that.  Would you all come with us?  Be my witnesses and what ever?”_ **  He asked trying but failing miserably to make eye contact with the boys.

 ** _“So soon?”_**  Zayn asked. **_“I mean, not that I’m not happy for you babe.  You’ve only been together for a few months, well, officially.”_**  He finished.

 ** _“Well, lads…… um…”_**  Niall said, face turning red as he found the string on the curtains more interesting to look at.

 ** _“Well, you see, Nuala being sick isn’t as innocent as we made it out to be…”_** He paused again trying to find the words to say what he needed to say.

 ** _“She’s pregnant isn’t she?”_**  Harry said as he walked up behind of Niall, clapping him on the shoulder.

 _ **“Yeah, she is.”** _  Niall said smiling.   ** _“I’m going to be a daddy in about 26 weeks lads.  She’s 14 weeks today; just far enough along our midwife said we can finally tell people.”_**

 ** _“That’s great Niall!  I’m so happy for you!”_**  Liam said, jumping out of bed, hugging him fiercely.

 ** _“I’ll be her favorite uncle; dress her up, give her candy when her mean daddy says no!  I can’t wait!”_ **  Liam said in the crook of Niall’s neck.

 ** _“So sure it’s a girl are you?”_**  Louis snickered as he joined the group. **_“Congrats man, by the way.”_**  He said taking Niall from Liam’s grasp and pulling him into his.   ** _“And anyway, I’m going to be the favorite uncle.  Imagine me and Harry spoiling her with her own designer clothes and handbags.”_**  Louis released Niall, **_“And of course sweets.”_**

Niall hears Nuala being sick in the background and salutes the boys as he bounced off to hand her saltines and tea.

 ** _“Our little boy is growing up.”_**  Louis wiped a fake tear off his cheek as he wrappde one arm around Harry.

 ** _“And having a baby of his own.”_**  Harry snickered as Louis lightly popped him on the shoulder.

 ** _“Who would have thought Niall would be the first to have a baby?”_** Zayn smiled as he pulled on his  black tee.

 ** _“Well, considering he’s the only one who likes ladies, he was bound to be the first.”_ **  Liam joked as he lightly tickled Zayn’s side. **_“Besides, he’s the most mature one out of us all.”_**  Zayn popped him in the face with a pillow while grumbling something that suspiciously sounded like **_“Prat.”_**

The next 6 months showed lots of ups and downs.  Liam had a few nightmares in the nights following his panic attack and they adjusted his medication a few times; but now, he’s at a great therapeutic level and loving his life.

Nuala was still miserable as her morning sickness decided it was going to last the entire pregnancy instead of just one trimester.  Niall was the ever doting boyfriend, giving her water to sip, saltines to snack on, and peppermint tea when she was ill.  The boys were all impressed at how amazing Niall actually was.  Until the birth of their daughter.

 ** _“Niall!”_**  Nuala screamed as a particularly hard contraction hit. **_“Niall!”_** She screamed again as she held tightly on to her contracting belly. **_“It’s time!”_**  She screamed as her water broke.

 ** _“No, but you have 2 more weeks left!”_ **  Niall screamed as he panicked.

 ** _“It’s not an exact science you idiot.  Go get the bag and the ahhhhhhh.”_**  She finished as another contraction hit her.   ** _“Breathe in, breathe out.  That’s it, breathe in, breathe out.”_ **  Liam said as he came up behind of her.  He grabbed her around the waist for support and lead her out to the car.  Niall screaming, **_“Where’s the god forsaken bag?”_**  In the background.

 ** _“Oh, for God’s sake Niall!  It’s in the closet!”_**  Liam screamed and then his attention went back to Nuala, **_“That’s it babe.  Just breathe.  Once Niall gets to the car, we’ll be right as rain.”_**

Niall jumped in the backseat and Liam headed to the hospital.   ** _“Niall, call ahead and let them know I’m on the way,”_ **  She croaked out between contractions. **_“And that my contractions are about 3 minutes apart.”_ **  She panted as another contraction ripped through her abdomen.

 ** _“I thought first pregnancies were slow?”_ **  Niall asked as he dialed the phone.  Liam chuckled, **_“Not all pregnancies are the same mate.”_**  He signaled left as he pulled out into traffic.

 ** _“Please Leeeyyyyyuuuummmm!”_**  She screamed, she gathered her voice and took a few more deep breaths, _**“Please hurry Li, I don’t want my baby to be born on the side of the street.  I want to be in the hospital with drugs, many many wonderful drugs.”**_

 ** _“I thought you wanted natural babe?”_**  Niall said as he hung up the phone.

 ** _“Yeah, well now I fucking want drugs!”_**  She screamed, then grumbled something about squeezing his balls off if he ever came near her with them again.  Liam shook his head and laughed at the interaction.

After a few more minutes, Liam finally pulled into the Emergency Department and helped Niall walk Nuala into the hospital.  In a matter of minutes, which felt more like seconds, they had Nuala in a room and hooked up to a fetal monitor.  The doctor explained it was the make sure that the contractions were not hurting the baby and they were both handling the stress.  In the end, Nuala was not able to get an epidural; her baby being too much like Niall, came too fast for her to have time to get one.

Sarah Aine Horan was born at 6:33pm, weighing 7 pounds and 1 oz, 19.75 inches long.  Sarah is Hebrew for “Princess” and Aine is Gaelic for “Joy or praise.”  The name fit the beautiful little girl; she was treated as a princess before she was even born, every boy buying any dress, jacket, coat, toy that they saw.  She was the joy brought in to the world by 2 amazing parents and life was happy for the group.

Zayn was rocking their princess to sleep one night and Liam wrapped his arms around his waist, laying  his chin on his shoulder.   ** _“Have  you thought about having one of these?”_ **  Zayn whispered as to not wake the sleeping baby.  

 ** _“Yeah, babe, I have.  Let’s get married and have one.”_ **  Liam whispered back.

 ** _“You mean it babe?  You want to get married?”_ **  Zayn said in awe.

 ** _“Yeah, babe, I do.”_**  Liam kissed Zayn quietly on the lips, hoping to convey his need for a family to the other man.

 ** _“Then yeah babe, let’s do it.  We can go tomorrow and get married at the courthouse and find a surrogate.”_**  Zayn whispered as he looked back down to the sleeping baby in his arms.   ** _“I can’t wait to have one with your beautiful hair and smile.”_ **  Zayn said as he kissed the sleeping girl on the forehead.

 ** _“And have Harry miss out on planning a double wedding?  I think not!”_**  Liam said with a smile, **_“And I hope we have one with your amazingly high cheek bones and impossibly dark hair.”_**  Liam kissed Zayn on the temple.

 ** _“Yeah, talk to Harry and let’s do this babe.”_**  Zayn laid the baby down in the bassinette and watched her sleep.   _ **“That’s all I’ve ever wanted babe.  A husband and a baby; I’m jealous of Niall to be honest.”**_  Zayn said as he walked over to Liam’s waiting arms.

 ** _“Me too babe.  It’s all I’ve ever wanted, and I’m so thankful to have found someone as amazing as you to have it with.  Let’s go home babe.”_**  Liam wrapped his arms around Zayn’s neck and kissed his pink lips.

 ** _“Yeah babe, let’s go home.”_ **  Zayn took Liam’s hand and led him out of the hospital room, down the hallway, and to the car.

 ** _“I love you babe.”_**  Zayn whispered as they buckled their seat belts.

**_“I love you too.”_ **

 

 


	20. The Beginning of life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wedding bells

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm an American Christian and I have never been to a Pakistani traditional wedding, so no offense was meant if this is incorrect. I modified it to fit the story and I felt it was beautiful. If this modification could possibly offend you, please skip it. 
> 
> I apologize for taking so long to get this up, life happened. Thank you for sticking with me and reading; it means a lot to me.
> 
> As always, I don't have a beta, so any mistakes are my own. I haven't made a single dime off of this, just my love of writing fueled this story on..... No copyright infringement intended with any songs or names used.
> 
> Song used was "Brighter than the sun" by Aqualung. BEAUTIFUL song. Go listen to it!

The next few weeks flew for the boys.  Zayn and Liam wanted a small reception at the courthouse; all they needed were their friends and family.  Harry, wouldn't allow that to happen.  Louis, once he found out that Liam proposed, insisted on a double wedding; which stressed Harry to the max.  Every hour, or it seemed like every hour, Louis was calming the curly haired boy down; whispering **_"It's ok love, just breathe and find something else that you like."_  **Harry would always respond with a sigh, smile, and a kiss to Louis' nose.  Louis would wrap up the taller boy tightly in his arms and whisper his love softly in his ear, which always ended up in a tango of their own; wrapped up in limbs, sweaty sheets, sticky dried whiteness, and smiles.

It takes a full year before Harry gets everything prepared for the _"wedding of the century"_   as it was nicknamed. 

Mixing a traditional Pakistani wedding along with a traditional English wedding had proven to be quite the challenge for Harry, but it was pulled off wonderfully.  In the end, they modified both wedding traditions to make one of their own.

Zayn's Mehndi was beautiful, thanks to his parents.  His first day he was dressed in bright green and Liam in bright blue.  They filled their home with all of their family and friends and had the largest feast he could ever imagine having.  The party continued into his Baraat, where more food and dance was had.  Zayn admitted later on that "In Your Eyes" by Peter Gabriel was his favorite song to dance with Liam to.

The ceremony itself, was held outside at their favorite park.  Black folding chairs were separated into two areas, with a long white silk carpet as the isle.  The chairs had greenery and lily of the valley's taped to the backs, and a white ribbon connecting each flower arrangement.  A wooden platform was placed at the end of the carpet where they were to stand during the ceremony.  7 foot white double arches were placed at the edge so each couple had their own arch to stand underneath; they were decorated with green ivy, winding through the trellises. 

Harry was dressed in a Black coat-tailed jacket, dark grey vest, white button up with black pearl buttons, black tie. No one could talk him out of the black top hat with a beautiful cream ribbon tied around the brim.  Louis was the exact opposite, white jacket, cream vest and tie, white button up with cream pearl buttons; his hair was long and styled beautifully by Lou.

Zayn and Liam were dressed in his traditional wedding attire.  Liam wanted what Zayn wanted, and Zayn wanted a traditional wedding.  Since tradition dictates all men are dressed the same color, Liam and Zayn both compromised and dressed in a grey colored Shalwar Kameez.

Niall, was the best man and Nuala was the Matron of honor.  Both dressed in black from the top to bottom.

When the ceremony began, a black baby grand, was rolled onto the wooden platform and Niall stood to the side with his guitar and a microphone stand.  Niall motioned for everyone to stand, the official took a step out front and Niall, along with the pianist, began to play.

 ** _"I never understood what love was for, I never knew what love was for,"_**   Niall began as Liam started walking down the soft white carpeted aisle.  He was nervous but smiled as he took his final steps as a single man, and first steps to a lifetime of happiness.  Liam chose to walk to this line because of the meaning behind the lyrics.  He was lost when he first came back from the war, but Zayn was there.  He didn't understand why Zayn stayed some days, then Zayn would remind with something small; an encouraging note or warm tea by the bed.  Liam knew, Liam finally understood love.

 ** _"Tied up in ancient history, I didn't believe in destiny,"_**  Niall continued as Louis walked down the aisle to join Liam.  They both gave each other a small hug and took their places under their respective arches to await their partners.  Louis chose this line because it encompassed his and Harry's relationship.  They were both afraid of what everyone would say, tied up in the ancient thoughts that they couldn't love each other because they were both men.  Neither one thought they were destined to be together until the day their lips met for the first time; then Louis knew, Louis finally understood love. 

 ** _"What a feeling in my soul, love burns brighter than the sunshine, brighter than the sunshine,"_**  Niall sang as Zayn began his walk.  Liam's breath caught in his throat as he saw his partner for the first time that morning.  The sun reflected off of his Shalwar and Liam swore that an angel was walking towards him.  Louis smiled lovingly at Liam's reaction and clapped him on his shoulder as a sign of admiration and love.  Zayn chose this line to walk to because for him, Liam was his sunshine, moon, and stars.  He was his everything, his one and only, his first and last love, his beginning and his end.  When Zayn met Liam, Zayn knew, Zayn finally understood love.

 ** _"I never saw it happening, I'd given up and given in,"_**  Niall sang louder than he was before, so that Harry knew he was proud of him.  Louis' world stopped, or maybe it began, he wasn't sure; but at that moment, Harry was the only thing on the face of the Earth that mattered, and he made a vow to himself then and there to love, honor, and protect him from the cold-hearted world. Harry chose this line because he, himself, had given up on finding love.  He'd given up on being himself and happy with his life, in front of the fans.  He'd given into the thoughts that he could finally be happy, until he met Louis.  When Harry met Louis, Harry knew, Harry understood love.

Niall finished out the verse, **_"I didn't have the strength to fight, Suddenly you seemed so right.   Me and you, what a feeling."_**  Niall looked over to Nuala, who was making her way to the right side of the arch, to stand with Zayn and Liam. She blushed as she ducked her head and smiled back to her husband.

 ** _"What a feeling in my soul, love burns brighter than the sunshine, brighter than the sunshine."_**  Niall finished and sat his guitar down to join Harry and Louis.

The official took a step together as he joined Harry and Louis' hands together.  He then stepped to his left to join Liam and Zayn's hands together.

**_"Dearly beloved, we have gathered here today to join these two couples in Holy Matrimony.  If anyone here has a reason for them not to be joined, speak now, or forever hold their peace."_ **

Liam made a very audible gulp and a few people in the audience chuckled at his nerves.  This seemed to pull him out of his nervous twitching and breathe calming breaths in.

**_"Each groom has decided to make their vows independently from the other, and keeping their vows within the confines of their independent familial traditions. Harry, would you like to go first?"_ **

Harry gulped and nodded.  He took a deep breath and turned to Louis.

 ** _" Louis, I have loved you from the moment that I met you; but you know I'm terrible with words. So, I enlisted some help."_ **  Harry bent down as Sarah ran unsteadily into his arms; he hoisted her up onto his hip as she took out a folded piece of paper and shoved it in his face.  Harry smiled and pulled the crinkled paper far enough away to read it as he bounced her a little on his hip.

 ** _"I was watching Sarah play one day and it hit me, I want that Lou.  I want that with you.  Not necessarily kids, but the feeling of home, although I do want kids Lou."_**  The audience giggled.

 ** _"Lou, I promise to give you that, a home, a feeling of belonging, something that only you can share with me.  I promise to love you, even when you're snippy."_**  Louis laughed a little through his now tear streaked face. **_"I promise to love you when things are bad, and cherish you when things are good.  I promise to keep you in my heart, even when others try to rip you out of it.  I promise to give you life when you feel like you have none left to live.  I promise to give you my heart and keep yours in it's place.  I love you Lou."_**  Harry finished as his tears pooled over his dark brown eyes and he smiled.   ** _"I promise to be yours."_**  He finished.

 ** _"Now, Louis, your turn."_ **  The official said and Louis took a deep breath, letting it out slowly.

 ** _"Hazza, when I met you,  you were the cute, curly haired boy who loved to push my buttons, and hasn't stopped pushing them yet."_ **  Everyone chuckled at Louis' joke as they nodded in agreement with the statement.

**_"But, I love you Hazza, button pushing and all.  You're my other half, my partner in crime.  You keep me sane when things are making me crazy. You loved me and trusted me when no one else did. You liked me when I never gave you a reason to.  You respected me even when I was being mean and moody.  So, Hazza, here's my vow to you.  I promise to be your rock when things get rough.  I promise to love you and only you until after forever.  I promise to trust you above everyone else.  I promise to like you, even when you're being unlikable, which is like never. And Hazza, I promise to respect you as I always have and will continue until the day I die.  Hazza, I love you."_ **

The official turned to Zayn, **_“Zayn, Liam, are you ready?”_**

 **  
**Zayn nodded and recited a traditional but modified wedding vow, ** _"I pledge, in honesty and sincerity, to be for you a faithful and helpful husband."_**

 

Zayn took a deep breath.   ** _"Liam, when you were deployed, I didn't think I could go on.  You were my light and without you it was a dark place.  If it weren't for the lads, I don't think I could have made it through.  When you came back, and kissed me in front of all of those cameras, I truly understood what it was like to be loved.  You loved me and didn't care who saw it. You complete me, as cliche'd as that sounds, it's true.  You make me want to  be a better person, a better man.  You make me want to continue living."_**  Zayn brought their foreheads together, **_" So, Liam, here's my vow.  I vow to love you, to cherish you, to continue helping you; I vow to be the man that you're proud to call yours.  I vow to care for you, protect you, encourage you, and comfort you."_**  He took a deep breath trying to will the tears to stay back just a little bit longer. **_"I vow to love, honor, and respect you until the end of time."_**  He whispered.

Liam answered,  ** _"I pledge, in honesty and sincerity, to be for you a faithful and helpful husband."_**

He took a deep breath to settle his nerves.   ** _"Zayn, when I was deployed, my first and foremost goal, was to stay alive so that I could come back to you.  You have no idea how many nights I lay awake, praying that I have one more day, just one more day with you."_**  He choked up a bit ** _, "But in honesty, one more day isn't enough for me, because I need you every day that I live.  I need you like the Earth needs rain.  That's what you are to me, my rain, my sustenance, my water when I'm thirsty, my food when I'm hungry, my air to breathe; everything that I am, I am because of you."_**  He nuzzled Zayn's nose with his and continued, **_"I promise to treat you with the same patient kindness that you've always treated me with.  I promise to be unselfish and trust you with my heart.  I promise to continue to be the best person that I can be so that I can make you proud to say I'm your husband.  But above all else, I promise to be your best friend.  I love you so much Zayn."_ **  He finished with a shaky whisper. 

 ** _"Now, for the rings."_**  The official said.  Sarah jumped out of Harry's arms and handed her black velvet purse to the official.  He smiled politely as he took it and removed the 2 boxes; he handed one box to Harry and one box to Zayn.

**_"Harry, Zayn, place your rings on your partner's finger and repeat after me."_ **

Harry, shakily removed his ring, almost dropping the box in the process.  Zayn, with steady hands, removed his ring and smiled to Liam. 

 ** _"With this ring, I give you a symbol of my love."_**  The official said.  

Zayn and Harry repeated as they slid the rings on the fingers and into place.  Harry lifted Louis' hand and kissed the gold band.

**_"Liam, Louis, place your rings on your partner's finger and repeat after me."_ **

Louis removed the ring and successfully dropped the box, but it was forgotten as he placed the ring onto Harry's finger.  Liam, shakily, removed his ring and placed it on Zayn's finger, his eyes full of big unshed tears of happiness.

**_“By the power vested in me, what has been put together today, let no man tear apart.  I now pronounce you husbands, you may now seal this bond with a kiss.”_ **

 Kiss they all did.


	21. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's no real dialog in this chapter; I'm just tying up loose ends. It's a really really short chapter, but I didn't feel like it was finished after the wedding. Now, I feel like it's complete.
> 
> I just want to thank everyone for staying with me and reading this story. It's been a roller coaster of emotions and I enjoyed sharing it with you all.

The group's first few years as married men took a wear on their group. Niall and Nuala had another daughter, Jasmine Rose. Zayn and Liam found a surrogate and was pregnant with fraternal twins, one was Liam's biologically and the other was Zayn's biologically. They were over the moon awaiting the birth of their prince and princess, Ameera and Benji. Harry and Louis had adopted a pair of siblings, 6 year old girl named Lily Rain and an infant boy named Ronald Storm; the pair kept the boys pretty busy. After much discussion, they decided that it was time for them to retire and spend time with their kids.

This only lasted for about 2 months before they all became restless and bored.  They all, in their own way, stepped back into the lime light and started performing again.

 

 

**_~~~~~Sometime later in the future~~~~~~~_ **

Liam had his last appointment with Dr. Macy and was finally free of all anxiety medications. A month after he married Zayn, he asked about tapering off of his Zoloft. It took almost a year before he was medication-free and able to handle the situations life threw at him, but he made it. Dr. Macy was so proud, but tearful, when they said their "good-bye's," with Liam promising to not be a stranger. A couple years later, and he's a DJ, playing for some of the most popular clubs through out the UK.  He was known as "DJ Payno," much to Zayn's dismay.

Zayn decided to stay at home with the twins but also became a producer.  He produced some of the biggest names in the UK, including his husband and Harry.  Eventually, he founded his own label, "ABM," named after his children.  Ameera grew up to also be a producer and worked under Zayn with his label.  He was excited to have her with him.  Benji had a knack for finding new "raw" talent.  Zayn would often take chances on singers Benji brought his way saying, **_"I've only known one other person who could see what Benji sees in people, and that's his father, Liam."_**

Harry went solo and made a name for himself, outside of the band.  When he toured, his kids were always there with him, along with Louis. Lily, or "Lily-Bug" as her dads called her, was learning to play the piano and would often accompany Harry when recording his albums.  She eventually became a permanent staple with his group and was loved by everyone who got to know her.  She had Harry's ease in the public mixed with Louis' snarkiness, which made for an interesting combination when the boys would try to discipline her. 

Louis was Harry's biggest fan, saying, **_"I'm so proud to know him and prouder, still, to be married to such an amazing man and wonderful father."_   **He went on to play soccer professionally, and Ronny would soon follow in his daddy's footsteps.

Niall decided to hang out in the back-ground, becoming a guitarist for Harry.  He LOVED singing, but the guitar was his passion.  Nuala followed Niall, saying, **_"Niall is my heart.  I'm an empty shell without it."_**  Sarah grew into a lovely lady, who could be heard as a back-up vocalist for Harry on his albums.  She eventually went to college and received a doctorate in Musical Theater.  Jasmine didn't inherit the musical gene, as Nuala said; she grew up and married, eventually becoming a stay-at-home mom to three beautiful little girls.  

The world had changed since they all met but one thing remained the same; they were together, they were brothers, they were best friends, and they were all happy.


End file.
